I want this job. Seriously, how do you get hired for something like that? And how do you put that on your resume for your next job? Areolae Adjuster? Nipple Stimulator? Boob Boy? Grip?

Thinking about it, though, isn’t it sad that someone in corporate music is thinking (or, more frighteningly and perhaps correctly, realizes) that J. Lo’s pert nipples in a video will sell more music? I wonder if Patsy Cline, Momma Cass or Janis Joplin would have made it to the bigtime in our age of video-heavy music. Can you imagine Patsy getting her nipples tweaked just before coming out on stage at the Ed Sullivan show? Come to think of it, who IS in bigtime music these days that isn’t at least passably attractive? And don’t say the Stones. I’m talking about people that have started since the video revolution.

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i dont have a lot to say. hence my silence the last few days. ive been trying to spend less time in front of the monitor.

i just spoke to my mother, who informed me that on tues, my father is having an angioplasty. they just found out a few hours ago. if that doesnt seem to clear the obstruction they have just located, he will need a bypass. my mom said there was only like a 1% chance of anything bad happening. nonetheless, the doctors are making her be there for the procedure.

my insides are all kinda topsy turvy. its not something ive had to really deal with. im less than thrilled to be so far away as well. i wish my father ate better; my sister and have chided him for years about what he eats and he has always shrugged us off.

in less stressful news, i have a sore spot under my tongue, an injured gum (i think maybe i cut it on floss a day or two ago), cowboy bebop on dvd now, packages in the mail and hopefully more tomorrow with my video games and turntables.

it looks like im filming with kurt and will. doing possibly 16mm. thats good and bad. arg. i dont feel like talking about anything about being stressed for my dad.

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art after hours was great fun. i especially enjoyed the martini bar. mmm. i got a little buzzy. one of the highlights of the evening was christina attempting to set me up with the anchorman from channel 6 here in richmond. jesse gave him a thumbs down, but he seemed nice enough – if a bit forward. i can not, however, remember his name.

after the museum michelle and i went to cafe diem with erik and some of his friends, where i eyed a richard gear lookalike and fantasized about having an affair with an older man. i find the idea really appealing right now. and by affair i do not necessarily mean someone who is married. but affair sounds like the right word when one talks about an older man. hm.

it was nice to go get drinks early on a ’school night’, and i came happily home still a-buzzin a bit. i walked in the front door and cheerily greeted kim and kerry, who were watching ER. their response was quite minimal, and now i am weirded out. i felt like i walked into some hostility, but i haven’t a clue wassup. i asked kerry later if she was angry with me about anything, but she said that she’d just had a bad day. kim disappeared pretty soon after i got home, so i didn’t get to ask her, but she seemed okay this morning. i wonder if she was irked about the check thing, but whatever. i want to chalk it all up to a miscommunication; i can’t imagine she purposefully cashed the check knowing it would bouncey-bounce. but anyway. walking into the house last night i totally felt Issues and it was weird. i’m a big time good vibes person and i don’t like it when things are off.

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i’m posting because i haven’t in several days and i told matt a while ago i’d try to post more frequently.

i went to the doctor’s yesterday. for the first time in a few years, i had no head rush or weakness when they stuck a needle into me. i’m proud of myself, but the majority of the credit should go to the nurse. there’s hardly any bruise around the poke which is highly unusal for me. i go back on tuesday and have them tell me that i’m all healthy. the doctor asked me if my eyes were always big. she needed to check because otherwise it could be a sign of a thyroid condition. i didn’t know that big eyes were a clinical symptom. she had big eyes herself.

i carried a 30 something pound box across campus today. the two guys i met along the way offered me help. i like to think that that means chivalry is alive, rather than to think that i just look weak. my boss and another lady in the office were impressed i’d carried it. tech prepared me for hauling much heavier and more unwieldy crap around.

this has been a very strange week. i’ve been very happy recently. i’m busy, but still on top of things. i’m more sociable than normal, and have daily positive interactions with people other than annalily and my suitemates. annalily and mel have both been bummed out. older friends have had much life stress (lots of love and hugs to you guys. i hope everything resolves itself soon and painlessly). i’m not used to being the cheery one. i hope i stay on this positive trend. my mom told me not to take the drugs the doctor gave me since it could throw me off emotionally so i’m not. who needs to breathe when you’ve got a smile on your face?

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i am pathetic. not pathetic. just really quite fragile when it comes to boys and relationships and sticky issues like trust and the idea of *dating* someone again.

i say this because my arizona trip was really a lot of fun. and flirty for the first few days. but it was impossible for me to even kiss the kid i was with because one morning i woke up and it just didnt seem as exciting anymore. the guy i was with was attractive, nice, smart, funny. he has a normal family. we generally like the same things. i dont know what happened.

and now that im home, and he’s still driving around (after spending an entire week non-stop with him) i find that im going through some sort of withdrawal and have somehow redeveloped the crush i had for the first couple days of our trip.

what i wonder, and what sucks, is that perhaps im just not ready to be with anyone, and that’s why i suddenly shut down. maybe it’s possible for me to have a crush, but impossible to make that go somewhere. how do i make that change? how long does it take to get over a broken heart and learn to open up and trust someone completely and wholly again?

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woo-woo! today is a completely unforseen snow day. what a nice surprise. i have no idea what i will do with my day, but it’s nice to be able to have that indecision. i may go dress shopping for casino night, which i am excited about. it’s through kerry’s work and a big group of us are going, so it feels like getting ready for a college formal – something i hadn’t realized that i miss.

the snow is coming down in fat poofy flakes and decorating the lawn but not the roads, so it seems conducive to adventure by automobile.

additionally, our heat has been fixed, and it is now a pleasant 72 degrees in our house, instead of the balmy 58 we’d become accustomed to. it’s so nice not to wake up with my wet-hair-at-bedtime semi-frozen into a crispy nest. or to spend the first 20 minutes of being awake trying to rejuvenate a face and throat completely dried out by the tireless efforts of a bedside space heater.

these are the good things in my day so far. i hope to have more to add later.

for the mere pittance of $75, i got an entire ensamble for casino night – a spaghetti-strapped ankle length black dress, donna karan hoisery, a black fringe wrap, and my very first pair ever of grown-up dressy shoes. carrie bradshaw would be proud – they are black witchy point with an ankle strap and totally killer stilletos. i was booty-shakin’ at the shoe store to make sure i could manage them, much to the delight of several employees and a few shoppers. i am psyched.

i also got tickets for art after hours tonight, which is excellent since apparently they usually sell out. i hope the weather cooperates, as i am ready to wear nice clothes, order things from a martini bar, and Appreciate Art. i would like to wear my new stilletos (which definitely make me into an amazon, hear me roar!) but i am not quite advanced enough to manuever them through an inch of sluhy snow.

here is something that is not ood and gets my roommate-gripe-of-the-moment award. last week i gave kim a check to cover my part of our bills, and asked her to please not cash it until friday. she said no problem, which i assumed meant, no problem. however, as i came home from errand-running this afternoon, she presented me with a letter from her bank with my bounced check attached – which she had cashed on thursday morning, even after i had reminded her about it. i was -i am- irate. it’s justified, right?

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As Slate’s William Saletan points out, Bush’s State of the Union Address didn’t really address the state of the Union. Perhaps this scorecard on the implementation of the President’s Management Agenda* can provide further insight. To decipher the scorecard, click here.

*Apparently, this gets updated about as often as Chrispy’s page, since this most recent scorecard is from Sept. ‘02

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