madeofglass

i’m playing a little hooky, sort of. gus got really sick yesterday and i had to take him to the vet; he has gastroenteritis, which, somewhat funnily, is what i was sick with last month. when i wasn’t feeling well all i wanted was my mommy, so i decided gus might feel that way, too (yes, you can make fun). additionally, staying home gives me a chance to get away from the Extreme Drama at school right now.

i really want to crawl back into bed right now but my roommate sue just got up, the bathroom is right by my bedroom, and she is listening to really loud bad country music while she’s showering. i fear having to lay in bed trying to drown this out might cause my ears to bleed, so i have sequestered myself in the computer room trying to imagine i can’t hear it in here, too. ugh.

i’m doing a little better in relation to being worried about tripp. that probably sounds funny, but the other night i really just flipped out about it all. i was scared and called him in tears, which i later regretted because he certainly doesn’t need to be spending his energy right now trying to help me feel better. i hate being so far away and hearing him sound so awful on the phone. for all the shit i have ever given him about being a mopey drama queen, i really think he is handling everything so much better than i ever could in this situation.

i really like to brag about friends who are “going places”.

the new g-n-r greatest hits album is making my life right now. yes, my life. it is the perfect mix of mood music, from the kick-ass-ness of ‘welcome to the jungle’ to the melancholy of ‘november rain’. i love it terribly.

my love for the disparity serves as a reflection of the polarity of my general attitude of late. i have been fluctuating between feeling rebellious and kick-ass and feeling as if i just want to stay in bed and cry all day. in the springiness of the weather today, (even the rain) i had a sudden paroxysm of grief and tears in the car. i feel as if every now and then the reality of my mother’s death is completely new to me. today it was about the spring and that my mother wouldn’t see it, as if her passing was a particularly bad spell of winter that would reverse with the budding of daffodils and the twitters of birds.

Popularity: 1% [?]

I have been really busy and lazy about posting of late. There are couple of reasons for this. 1. I have been really busy lately ever since i got back from NY. 2. I have been spending a lot of my time thinking about stufff i don’t always like to talk about in such a public forum, i think I am just spending too much time alone, which makes me depressed. 3. I am prettty worried about tripp, and my problems that I am sitting at home wracking my brains over seem pretty paltry and insignificant. These excuses might be absolutely unacceptible, but there they are. The only thing that I can really think about saying to anybody out there is that tripp, my thoughts are with you and thanks for a reality check. In the mean time I’ll be attempting to get back to my long winded, jovial self in the next couple of days, but I still have tons of work to do. Good luck to everyone and ttfn.

Popularity: 1% [?]

my dog is sick, my pal is really sick, i’m worried about my dad, and i can’t talk about a big thing for Legal Reasons right now. in other aspects of my life i am sated, for the moment.

Popularity: 1% [?]

there are two things that i want resolved that are basically taking up all of my thoughts. tripp is one of them.

aside from thinking about tripp and talking about tripp, i had a very 20-something single-in-the-city sort of evening. i was exhausted leaving work, but i left promptly at 5p yesterday. i stopped by the grocery on my way home. i bought flowers, salad, cheese (fresh asiagio – yum), crackers, fresh scallops, raisin bread, pita, and hummus. i kept running into this cute hipster around the store and then we left at the same time. except i had on my headphones and was in a bad/tired mood and didnt feel like coming up with some way to tell him he was cute. whatevs. he was probably gay. then i stopped by the liquor store and restocked on blackstone merlot and walked home. at home i cleaned my room – new sheets, stuff put away, new towels, everything. i helped heather a little in the kitchen dividing our food, since she moves out of our house this weekend. turns out most of it was hers. that makes me feel good. im determined to use up what i have while im still in dc. the best part was not needing her leftovers of hot chocolate and anything cold-weather related because i know i will not be here for another winter.

that was pretty much the evening. i have officially made the switch from flannel sheets to a regular cotton. im ready to start packing my bags.

Popularity: 1% [?]

i’ve been moving into a funk. not sure what to do about it. tripp just needs to get ok.

since i got back on sunday i’ve been one of those girls who talks about their boyfriend all of the time. ugh. i hate not being with tripp right now. he is my top priority, coming above school crap and everything else, and yet it isn’t practical to let everything slide so i can sit in his room. blah. i wish i knew if he needed me there.

Popularity: 1% [?]

I visited Tripp twice this weekend in the hospital. Saturday he didn’t seem to be doing all that hot, and it was kind of a crappy situation because there was really nothing any of us could do for him. He told us he was basically in limbo until today because his main doctor was gone for the weekend. What shitty luck.

Sunday his spirits and health seemed a little better, but all of the hypotheses the doctors had about his illness the day before proved to be false. I can only imagine his frustration. I took Rachael to the train station and made my way to Christina’s for lunch and three hours of HBO dramas.

Christina’s house was filled with drama, but not from the television. While I’m not going to go into the details, it is just another point on a long list of things that don’t directly involve me yet I’m obligated to help out with. This situation is pretty shitty, but the conclusion was logical. I feel bad for all the parties involved. There’s a lot of anger and resentment, and it sucks, but that’s the way it is.

And it other news, it looks like I’ll be going to Houston for a while because my company is getting a huge client. Who can’t wait to spend the hottest months of the year in Houston…..this guy.

Popularity: 1% [?]