i’m not good at keeping things to myself. jason is even worse. so keeping this under wraps has been a less than perfect exercise. in the first weeks jason told many friends…unable to hide his happiness. i told fewer people…though my family knew by week 5. for those still unclear on what the hell I am babbling about…i am pregnant. for anyone doing the math…i am due june 15. we managed to conceive our first child a mere five days after we were married. not planned at all…more of a “wow we are married, let’s throw caution to the wind” sort of thing. needless to say we must have picked just the right moment. so that is the biggest news. it has been a big year. jason graduated law school. i graduated with a masters in education. jason got into northwestern on a scholarship, got a full time job as a lawyer, got a clerkship. we got married. and now a baby on the way. not bad at all. i apologize that the above sounds like a rough draft xmas letter (holiday letter i mean…i wouldn’t want to offend anyone!)

we heard the baby’s heart beat today for the first time. that was amazing. my heart beating slow, the baby’s far faster. i didn’t know how to react. i felt like laughing and crying. my worry faded. i’ve been worried about miscarriage. largely as a result of reading too much online. the internet is great…but it can be bad news. i read and read…and next thing i know i am a nut case. so that is what i did with pregnancy and with the possibility of miscarriage. not a good idea. i became a freak pain in the ass. and that on top of being nauseous a lot of the time, hating most foods i use to love (indian food is the nastiest stuff ever…and for anyone who knows me also my favorite food!), and being a roller coaster of emotions made for a really fun few months! but all is good now…the heart beat is still in my head…sounding like a sweet ocean. my heart grows each time i think of the sound.

so that is the news. i’ll be waiting for the freaking out calls (tripp)!!

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is it just me or is the white house trying to play both sides of the american public in terms of the iraq war? no withdrawing troops until victory, a reduction in troops soon, but it’ll be a long time until victory?

“That’s what’s important for the American people to understand — that, one, we are not going to cut and run; two, we’ll achieve our objective; and three, the president is going to listen to those who are on the ground who can make the best assessment.” yes, listen to those who make the best assessment….like he has in the past. and why does bushie refer to himself as ‘the president’?

what a mess. i wonder what the history books will make of it all years from now.

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i turn 30 this weekend. this friday actually. damnit, i won’t be in my twenties anymore. people are coming this weekend to visit. AGAIN. i love my friends and i love my family, but i am so sick of having people come visit us for the weekend at this point. i want some ME time. i want to do nothing on the weekends if i want to, and not feel like i have to rush over to manhattan to fit in as much stuff as possible. fuck that. if you come visit me, we are sleeping in on saturday, and then maybe we’ll go down the street for some coffee, read the paper, maybe i’ll write a little bit. then you can follow me around while i take pictures. we’re not walking across any bridges or going to any museums. and if i feel like exploring a place in the city that i’ve never been to, you have to go with me, even if it ends up sucking.
i am tired. and i don’t feel like doing anything.
i want to finish things i started awhile ago. like the 2 music videos, numerous paintings, and be able to spend an afternoon at the coffee shop down the street writing on my laptop, without feeling rushed or like i have something else i need to get done.
and there is a cool bookstore that i want to explore in my hood. i haven’t been there yet, and i want to spend some time there. maybe this weekend i will.

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Hi there Condiment lovers!!

http://www.virginiachutney.com

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someone who lives in an apartment very close to mine has been playing an instrument night and day this week. and it’s been lovely. i live near someone who plays a harp… which is basically the most fantastic sound to come home to. it is definitely the best of any instrument that could be in an apartment building — it conjures instant thoughts of happiness and it diffuses stress. so this is a big shout out to my neighbor — thank god you didnt choose the tuba in band class.

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and literally, like 1 minute after i got into bed last night, i solved my coding problem. it’s not clean code yet, but its functional. for last night, that was the goal. i think i have 90% of it done. then comes the cleaning of the code, then the cross-browser testing. then i think its ready to go live…then its to the backend to add a couple of really cool features. maybe i can get everything where i want it by christmas.

ok, time to pack and run errands before i head off to the airport, to come back to the west coast and finally sleep in my own bed.

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its 2.15am and i am about to make myself mental trying to fix a bug for the redesign. long story short: it involves setTimeout and catching onmouseout events that happen a little too fast for the browser to catch. so annoying.

in other news, someone who shall remain nameless sent me as email about bars here in mechanicsville. (i hope it is ok im posting it. its just too perfect.) it sums it up better and more offensively than i ever could have when it said: ‘And the weirdest thing about Mech’s bars, with the possible exception of Goal Posts or Goal whatever, none of them are like the sort of local dive bar you’d expect from a crummy town, like Moe’s tavern. Two are apparently sports bars and one is like if Have a nice day had a baby and left its afterbirth next to a seafood restaurant.’ (of note: ‘have a nice day cafe’ is a terrible 80s/top 40 club downtown, where there is a dress code and 40 year old women try to find someone to love them.)

now i try to sleep, all the while tossing and turning about how i can make this code fire the way i want. grrr.

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