‘too pedestrian’

i just applied for a credit card. i have not had one in a few years, not since the big intervention my parents had with me in which my 3 cards were chopped up. they paid my cards off and i went onto a payment plan paying them back. i don’t need a credit card, but i need to build good/better credit. i feel hesitant to tell my dad about the card i just applied for though, lest he think i am heading down the same financial path of hell that i did in college.

it’s been a big week for my relationship with my dad. for the first time in a really long time, i did something -admitted something to him- that he really disapproved of and disappointed him. it made me realize that since my mom died i have been busting my ass to be the perfect daughter, and i didn’t even know it. i keep having to remind myself that it’s totally normal to have conflict with parents. i certainly had more than my fill of it back in the days of teen angst when i was a nasty little deviless. but i’m not evil like that any longer, so i should be able to handle this, right?

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some more links…

Undertaking a Difficult Sales Job
wow.

Chax – miscellaneous iChat improvements
this is something i would have liked 18 months ago. and then i got so hooked on adium, i cant imagine going back to ichat. i mean, really? who uses just 1 service anymore?

GigaOM : ? Fabrik of Storage
kurt and i discussed how this intersects with both of our thesis projects. its a shame that i still feel so under the radar with this stuff. but this week im going to order a new headset cam.

My Life in the Bush of Ghosts: Home
i picked this up on vinyl about years ago and have moved it around with me ever since. it is really a great album, though in none of the ways you might expect. nice to see its getting some attention.

? Six Apart adds widgets to TypePad | Between the Lines | ZDNet.com
whee! this is cool cause one of the widgets is for my new company. and my first 2 days here i worked on the widget. i know, its not that exciting and i didnt do that much at the time but it is somewhat refreshing to see articles related to the work i a

Boing Boing: Rudy Rucker and John Shirley to speak in SF on April 18
gotta try and rememeber this. rucker was inches away from being on my thesis committee; it would be excellent to meet him in person after a flurry of emails.

best euphemism for masturbation ever

Vloggercon 2006
i am so there.

New male contraceptive clears hurdle
i would do this in a nanosecond. whee!

Videoblogger’s protest footage demanded by FBI
here we go…it was only a matter of time. ug.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Musical Adventure Home
wow. i cant decide how awful this is. but i think it hurts me, even from just a conceptual level.

Boing Boing: BDSM-themed ad for laser hair removal service
i do love the masks. creepy but somewhat cool. oh, my poor brain.

Boing Boing: Missing Byrne/Eno track “Qu’ran” appears on blogs
a followup to the post yesterday…in case you needed more musical goodness

TechCrunch ? The State of Online Feed Readers
kurt and will, here you go…feed reading! woohoo!

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facts of life

immigration reform? not so funy. quotes about immigration reform bill? funny.

” “I say let the prisoners pick the fruits,” said Rep. Dana Rohrabacher of California, one of more than a dozen Republicans who took turns condemning a Senate bill that offers an estimated 11 million illegal immigrants an opportunity for citizenship.”

“Rep. Virgil Goode of Virginia said, “I say if you are here illegally and want to fly the Mexican flag, go to Mexico and wave the American flag.” “

” Rohrabacher said Americans should be able to “smell the foul odor that’s coming out of the U.S. Senate.”
Asked a few moments later whether the same odor was emanating from the president, he said, “I have no comment.” “

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‘keyboard’

i spent half my day in meetings. the other half was spent finishing work on a dual slider control in javascript. whee.

this means nothing to most of you and thats ok. i dont mind. but im still really enjoying it. and thats what matters the most.

rachael and i have had several conversations now based on the whole ‘happy ending’ bit. the latest is that she says she would not date someone who called 900 numbers. not that i do or anything, but that seems…weird. i mean, i think they are pretty lame really. perhaps she wouldnt date someone who did but she wouldnt break with someone over it either. i must check.

clarified. she wouldnt leave me over it unless it was habitual. whew.

this relationship stuff is hard.

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My god is an Indian that turns into a wolf.

Wow, it’s been 22 days since I last posted. So much has happened. I’m feeling drippy. Emotionally. For the past week it’s been mostly good, but every now and then the bad thoughts will puff past like a wet lungfull of cigarette smoke. I’m tired of feeling bad, and those moments are stranglers. For a while there, my life was a Richard Farina title: Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me. Farina committed suicide shortly after that book was published. I managed to survive. Although, it’s not saying much to say you’re mentally more stable than your average writer.

But like any good story, troubling times end in epiphany. And that’s where I am now. I needed to change my life and the way I was looking at the world and my place in it. I’m better for it.

Now, in my brain I’m zen-like. I’m that bird who finds the “sweet spot” on a breezy day, and just hangs in the air in one place looking effortless, and motionless. My wings are spread, and I’ve caught the breeze. I’m hanging. It’s never effortless at first, but it will become so. It’s a feeling of clarity and singular focus, like speeding down a dark and lonely country road listening to AM static, knowing that your true love is at home waiting and yearning for you to take her in your arms.

On a night like that, the visitors could land at any second to sabotage their plans. And they would think, because I’m usually such a mild-mannered guy, that there would be no stopping them. But the bastards had better watch their back if they plan on landing their damned ships in my way. When you see your path and you know that it’s right, the answer is clear and you are sure of yourself.

I’m proud. I’m an alligator wearing a shark skin suit

I’m happy again. And I’m starting to find all the weird and remarkable shit that happens in my life amusing once more.

Homeless people. You gotta love ‘em.

Marquis was at the train station, and that’s where he came to me. He said he liked my suit and asked where I bought it. He had two yellow teeth that looked like corn. I told him where I got the suit and he said it was a good place to get one. But he hadn’t shopped there in a long time. He then explained that he couldn’t go many places any more because so many people wanted him dead. He said he went to Ozzfest, and that while some of the bands thought it was cool that he showed up, most of them thought he should have stayed away. You see, he used to run around with a bad crowd. Dope dealers. They had once given him a billion dollars to hold onto once, and now they are after him.

Downtown, a man with a Casio keyboard strapped around his neck played funk music as he chased after a retarded man with a severe limp. The retarded man looked like he was strutting to his own theme music.

An overweight Russian was screaming at a black boy about how he beats his wife daily and how niggers have no place in schools. He had pissed his pants. I get the feeling he doesn’t have a wife.

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hey hey this much is true i never trusted YOU

i am piiiiissed. i’m trying to set up phone service online because there’s a promotion to do so online. tried earlier today and was most of the way through when their site went down. called in annoyance to try to do it over the phone when the site didn’t work for over an hour. no luck there, they couldn’t give me the promotion over the phone. waited another hour or two and the site worked…..was on the last page to complete the process and……it screwed up again. ah internet, you make my life so much easier. growl.

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‘ahead of her time’

all of a sudden, “don’t be a dragon lady” from the 80s anti-smoking tv commerical campaign flashed into my head, apropos of nothing. does anyone else remember her? i googled for a link, but to no avail. have i posted about this before?

i’m feeling a little flu-ish and tired. this is what i get after recently talking about how pleased i am at the fact that i have not gotten sick once since moving last august. i can’t help but grumpliy hypothesize that sitting in my fucking doctor’s office for over an hour and a half on monday when i had an appointment. that waiting room was like a germ incubator and i was terrifically bored. so much so that i volunteered for free HIV testing that some company was there doing. one gum swipe, 20 minutes, and a negative result. word.

i still owe stories – the impact V for vendetta had on me, the insanity of a police search on my block monday night, a crazy verizon/fedex saga, maybe even a little silly girl talk about what it felt like to change my status on myspace to “in a relationship.” promises, promises.

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