’cause it’s nine in the afternoon’

that’s a song i only know from rockband, by the way. and i will probably buy it from iTunes, being a one person example of how smart that game is from about 101 different angles. never really anticipated my musical choices being influenced by songs i have been exposed to only through playing a video game. although, of course, i do love the super mario brothers theme. but maybe not so much that i’d download it for my ipod.

despite the sadness and loneliness and fear and anger and self-loathing that may permeate my being at various times in the midst of this break up, and i am starting to – and i have to – recognizing the good things. like waking up at 4.30 in the morning and having the prerogative to grab my laptop and type without bothering anyone. so that is another change a-comin’ down the pike.

we’re breaking up but still in the house together, at least for the next little while. it’s not unlike just having a roommate, which is peculiar and comforting at the same time. i’ve been wondering that i slid into that role more easily because less of the romantic feeling has been there between us for the last little while…maybe we were really destined to be buddies and not … lovers. (did you throw up a little? i did. i hate that word.)

my resolution to post more is incredibly strong. i see the list of posts – so strong at 1,121 – dwindle over the last year and it hurts my heart to think writing has somehow gotten the shaft and isn’t seemingly high on my list of priorities.

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emptying tabs

Boy, I’ve almost gotten into a routine here, haven’t I?

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analog and digital

The black and white part of me wanted to name this post “analog vs digital.” But there is absolutely no need to create a rivalry here.

Gina stepped down from EIC at Lifehacker the other day and wrote a sentence that I know I’m going to come back soon: “The bottom line is this: for someone who loves making things on the web, spending 100% of the time blogging about what other people are making is simply untenable.”

This goes back to yesterday’s post about conversations online, but it’s even deeper than that.

I’m more interested in expression than a dialogue, at least at the moment, though it’s probably fair to say that this is a long-term deal with me. And maybe that’s part of my frustration: we haven’t found a way to take the internet and really get away from the conversation-mode.

And when you look at the possibilities online, they seem endless, but when compared to the world, they are so limited. Everything runs in a browser, in an OS. We are layers deep already, forced to display in pixels, always in windows in monitors.

Walking through the Rodin sculpture garden at Stanford on Saturday, I was struck by scale, by dimensionality, by texture. And by frustration.

There most certainly are ways to marry these, to fuse them in ways beyond youTube or dodgeball or video installations. Like using the internet to sell your used underwear, there must be ways to flip and invert and use the strengths of all of these to produce something engaging and interesting.

It isn’t an either/or or a versus. We aren’t yet living in the matrix; we need both systems. We just have to find more interesting ways to glue them together.*

* We being me mostly. I’m still attempting to move away from both online product sales and location-aware/based online items. I am sure there are other ways to tie the digital to the analog — or the physical to intangible.

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thoughts on the cloud and permanance

I keep coming back to Jason Scott’s post “Fuck the Cloud” in my head. (Yes, there are other things bouncing around up there, but I’ve already explained I’m on a roll here.)

I understand his point and his frustration. But right on cue, a service turned up in my feed reader that offers to back-up your digital service content. Let me be clear however: their implementation, as I understand it, is awful. As in, don’t use it. You pay them, give them your credentials and they back-up your stuff to Amazon S3. Thanks, but no.

The problem, as I see it, isn’t this notion of the cloud or the problem of having your data on servers you don’t pay for. I know it’s silly, but extrapolate Jason’s issue out — even though I pay for hosting for madeofglass, I don’t maintain the server. I don’t rent the space. I don’t own the wires or silicon and I have no control over the electricity that connects you to this server. At some point, the control breaks down.

And of course you keep copies of items you post to these services. That’s common sense.

What has really turned his argument on his head, for me, is the ah-ha moment where I realized that most (all?) of these services are about conversations.

I am a packrat. And I backup furiously. And, for a long time, I saved every IM convo I had with Rachael. Loggers and histories and records, I saved so much. And one day I woke up and realized that there was zero reason to spend time on this.

Most everything Internet-related revolves around conversation — the notion of comments, chats, emails, sharing media, blogs, facebook/myspace — it’s all about conversations. And, in reality, conversations are impermanent things. They are fleeting and don’t need to be backed up.

Who cares where this stuff is?*

Sidenote: This is all a very literal interpretation of his complaints; waxy linked a more basic retort the other day, though the argument there is more about renting/owning, which is good and logical when we are talking about other people’s media. But Jason was originally talking about his own (or, self-made works, even if they weren’t his explicitly).

Two elements that do overlap are these: “Free things don’t generate strong feelings of ownership.” and “As more items are invented and manufactured – while the total number of hours in a day to enjoy them remains fixed – we spend less and less time per item.” The former is extremely true and represents my own personal shift in media the last 10 years — from buying DVDs to subscribing to Netflix to streaming from Hulu. The second item is far more important in this context.

As more and more items become available to us and as we improve personalization systems, it will be easier and easier to only be exposed to things we like. I used to think this was a huge problem and, to some extent, I still do. There is something to be said for spending time with things you don’t like (see: my moving to LA); this notion is best argued for when combined with social media viewing (see: talking about Lost over the water cooler).

Part of this whole stream of thought has been about how to move writing and media past these filters and find a way to make the very notion of reading/writing more interesting.

* Fair to say that I do care. But I think I care less about where the data lives and more that the very act of creating a dialogue on facebook is tedious for me. I haven’t found the sweet spot for myself yet. But I don’t need a personal copy of all my facebook activity.

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Politic: Yes We Can (Shoot a Moose!)

Hockey moms of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your snow chains! It was announced earlier today that the sitting vice-President of “Real” America, Sarah Palin, has started a political action committee. Apparently, she was very upset to learn that the “other” America included Washington, D.C., the National Mall, White House, and both branches of government that she can name.

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‘i can’t go for that’

So tonight, probably pretty late, I stumbled upon obamicon.me, where users can upload pictures that the site will posterize in the style of Obama’s iconic “hope” poster. At first, it seemed like too much too soon–too much commodification, too much cynicism, too much potential for ignorant asses doing things like this. But then I found these two gems:

And I knew I’d rushed to judgement too soon.

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Parenting: The things that break your heart

Rebekah has been getting sick the past couple of days, and I think it finally arrived in force this afternoon. Tonight, as I put her to bed, I leaned over and said, “Goodnight, sweetie. I love you.”

In the dark, she placed her hand on my shoulder and quietly said, through ragged sore throat and sinus blockage, “I love you … more.”

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