the fat mama robin i have been watching for the past 3 weeks is gone. it’s nest is empty – well, empty from my vantage point. i don’t know if there were ever eggs there or not. for the past three days i have gone to the doorway so many times hoping for a glimpse of the returned bird, but there is never anything there. it feels extremely disheartening.
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i haven’t posted regularly in a long time.
i took out the garbage on friday morning, before chris was set to visit the apartment. i ran out of garbage bags last week and decided, being the earth-conscious person i am, to use the biodegradable corn-based bags we use in the bedroom trashcan.
here is a hint:
when you place food, dead flowers and other compostable elements into a biodegradable bag for a couple of weeks, it will more than likely biodegrade.
i lifted the bag out of the trashcan and the bottom fell off the bag. the trash went with it.
it was in the kitchen and not a huge pain to clean up (another biodegradable bag and a quick pass with the dirt devil).
chrispy was here for the weekend, which was fun but low-key. i felt guilty we didn’t do more, though there seemed to be a lot of hanging out, watching tv and drinking. these aren’t bad things, just a little less ‘doing’ than i seem used to these days.
the herve – ghetto bass mix cd is amazing. if you like herve’s sound, this is primo. and the rest of you, the ones wondering what i’m talking about: itunes link. (it’s cheap but it’s the clean version. use your own discretion, as amazon doesn’t seem to carry the domestic version.) i ‘m not even sure what genre this stuff falls into — it’s not breaks, not house, it’s almost the successor to big beat…it’s this whole chunky beat, throw-back to 90s rave but better.
if i can’t make you buy it, at least check out the two essential mixes (1 and 2) that he has done. those are free, yo.
and then buy the buraka som sistema – black diamond album. itunes has it, amazon only has the physical cd. (this one comes thanks to chrispy. well worth a listen and totally unlike anything you’ve heard.)
it got cold again, which is a bummer. i actually checked the weather this morning.
i had a dream last night about lifecasting. steve mann was in it; i was at a conference. unsurprisingly, but perhaps ironically, the conversation was about using life-casting to be accepted by others. which, really, if you’re going to wander around with a camera on your head, you have a hurdle to overcome from the get-go.
hey, it beats the dreams i was having a month ago.
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Is bullying harmless? Is it inevitable? Watch this video–then decide. Be sure to stick with it at least through the 1:30 mark to get the full effect.
Written by me, voiced and produced by my coworkers.
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i feel cranky and unfulfilled. enough wallowing and trying to get my shit together. let’s excel. at something. now.
i got nominated for “teacher of the year” at school. that was pretty cool. i’d like to win that more than i’d admit to anyone i work with. wonder if i feel like i need something tangible (superficial?) to show that i am not becoming stagnant.
i’m applying to JMU to get my administration endorsement. could i really be a principal or AP? am i doing it because that’s truly what i want or because i feel the need to stay in motion?
i kind of like living alone.
i facebook and tweet way too much, and don’t write enough. let’s have an experiment. tweet me a topic, and i’ll write on it. how about that.
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Tripp,
Q: How did you spend one part of your freshman year of college?
A: Posing for suspect satire magazine covers.
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It’s been forever since I’ve written here, or much of anywhere.
Something thickened. Something spread. For the first time since school, I feel like I’ve got a routine that’s sustainable, meaningful, worthwhile. Work has picked up; I got a new title (a promotion!) and a new set of projects. I wrote a ghost of a poem, or some everclear play in the office last week. I find more time to take phone calls, and to make them. I broke up with someone, just because we didn’t fit quite right, and I already met someone new. I got rid of half my clothes and most of my shoes. I cut my hair the same way twice in a row. I’m steadying. I swear I’m steadying.
It feels really fucking good. I’ve shed some old skin, stopped breathing the thin air of some atmospheric layer of old people and new things, and something’s distilling. I breathe steadier and I breathe deeper. I get angry when I feel angry. I smile when I’m happy and I speak up when I’m not okay. I know when I’m not okay! (This is its own revelation.)
And I’ve got a thickening skin, a tiny cohort of friends and coworkers who have shown me a new way of thinking critically (and kindly) about my constellations of family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances. They’re so kind, so calm, so honest, and so close. Maybe this is a thank you to them.
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