I am incurably blue these days, heavily, ineptly waltzing through lopsided days in my cumbersome skin. I come home to the sinking feeling of underachievement and wake to the shallow breath of too much left. I read the flourescent poems on the bus home each day; I watch your calls come up on the telephone and let the water rise in my fast-filling voicemail. There is a fist that holds nothing, hits nothing, but still never releases. When did I become such a disappointing iteration of your hopes? And when did I first haunt myself with so many specters to prove away?

When my father first got hearing aids, he was angry with everything, and he’d never say why. When he returned them, the audiologist told him that they didn’t need adjusting, he did. “You’ve become accustomed to your quiet world.” So maybe that’s me, too. I didn’t anticipate needing this much courage to take a phone call, or stand up in the morning.

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I haven’t danced like that in years…since probably Stanton Warriors in 06 in SF. Yikes.

She dropped dubstep at popscene, “san francisco’s premeir indie nightclub.” I was in heaven, though 99% of the peeps there couldn’t keep up. But you know a set is awesome when 3 of the first 4 tracks are Beethoven’s “5th (Soulwax remix)”, MIA’s “Sunshowers” and a remix of En Vogue’s “My Love (Never Gonna Get It).”

It didn’t let up for 90-ish minutes and I loved every single fucking minute of it. I could have danced another 4 hours to it save for my being sweaty and stinky. I didn’t count on dancing to Herve’s “Mega” or Dizzee’s “Bonkers” but there I was. If you have ever, ever been out dancing with me when I lost my mind, tonight can be added to that scorecard. (See: Adam Freeland, Bassbin Twins, Fatboy Slim, Underworld, even KMFDM back in the day.)

If she’s coming around near you, do yourself a favor and go:
Sep 26 2009 Barcelona Bar, Austin, TX @ Barcelona Bar
Sep 27 2009 Venue, Vancouver @ Venue
Oct 1 2009 The Social, Toronto @ The Social
Oct 2 2009 Tribeca Grand, NYC @ Tribeca Grand

Now, if you”ll excuse me, it’s 2am and I must be working tomorrow by 7am.

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good first:
another draft of my latest book is complete.

first bad:
i have another draft to do.

second bad:
realizing i have left out an entire chapter, which means another week of writing, plus another week for the 4th draft.

i still see the light at the end of the tunnel. i wanted to be done by the end of the month, but that might get pushed out by a week….though i’m already 1000 words into the missing chapter, so perhaps i can speed through faster than i thought.

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I want this job. How do you get this job? But only because I value Katy Perry as an artist.

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Long story in four sentences:
I did an internship as part of my Master’s with Gordon Bell and Jim Gemmell using MyLifeBits and the Sensecam, back in 2004. It didn’t go as far as I would have liked because I was hospitalized for half the semester and simply wasn’t able to give it my all. The work I did with them combined with my thesis led to me presenting a paper at CARPE 2005 in Singapore. Their new book came out this week, called Total Recall: How the e-memory revolution will change everything.

I just got the book in the mail today; imagine my great delight to see my name in the acknowledgments! I’m on the shortlist (16 people) for MyLifeBits/CARPE people that also includes one of my thesis advisors, Steve Drucker. Big ups to them for the book and for the shoutout. I can’t wait to read this; I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.

I’m seeing them speak tomorrow night in Mountain View, if anyone else will be there or is interested. And the book looks interesting from my glances through it, though a little basic if you’ve spent a good amount of time with the subject of recording everything you see.

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1. Nothing. If you don’t like it get the fuck out!
2. Or, Rush Limbaugh calling for segregated buses. We have known the man is an idiot for the last 15 years. I’m actually amazed that we can now unabashedly add ‘racist’ to that modifier. You’d think that it either would have been obvious much sooner or simply never come up. But yet here we are in 2009 and the man is calling for segregation. Fucker.
3. And our disposable lifestyles. This depressing article from the NYT highlights self-storage, a concept I didn’t get before the article. Now it just makes me want to scream.
   

   Even by the early ’90s, American families had, on average, twice as many possessions as they did 25 years earlier. By 2005, according to the Boston College sociologist Juliet B. Schor, the average consumer purchased one new piece of clothing every five and a half days.

   What is wrong with us? Why do we have a compulsion to spend money?

4. And Wolf Blitzer failing beyond miserably at Celebrity Jeopardy while Andry Richter mops the floor with him. Skip 2 or 3 minutes in if you don’t want to watch the entire 10 minutes. So the comedy sidekick (and genius) cleans up; the man who is supposed to deliver news can’t even get out of the red.
   

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Today I was walking along the sidewalk with Rebekah when we passed an empty store. Inside was a short step ladder right next to a very tall step ladder. The rest of the store was empty, save for some trash in the corners. In a way it was very picturesque. As I admired the artistic qualities, my eyes shifted focus and I saw our reflection in the window. Her, sweet and short, holding hands with her tall daddy. We mirrored the ladders beautifully. I thought for a moment of trying to take a picture of it, but knew that a picture would never really do it justice. So I just stood there for another moment, holding her hand.

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