The war came home.

a post from two weeks ago…though as much my thoughts today as then.

One of the five soldiers killed in a roadside explosion on Thursday January 5 was a dear friend of mine. Chris Petty. He is the only person I know personally that was in iraq. On his second tour of duty. He was suppose to be out of the army just after this war began. But they won't let you out once a war starts. He was 33. He leaves a wife and two small boys behind ( 3 months and 3 years). He was in iraq for just 22 days this time. Then it all ended, so soon, so suddenly. I grew up with chris. We met one summer day when he climbed to the top of his backyard and found my backyard. His sister lisa and he joined a family gathering, and we became fast friends (as young children do). Over the years we spent a lot of time together. His father's work took them overseas a lot, but when they were back in the US we'd be back hanging out, bonding, laughing. I was at his high school graduation, and the party that followed. His older friends all flirted with me and made me feel oh so grown up. That evening ended with chris and I talking on his front steps. It was one of those late night conversations, full of meaning and connections though I recall nothing we said. All I know is that I walked up to my house that night feeling closer to chris. I was at his wedding, with Jason. We celebrated together, we laughed together, and we grew together. I feel an emptiness knowing he is gone. I have heard the number all these months…growing…the tales of loss. And now here I am knowing the loss in a new way. Suddenly the numbers are so much more real. I hate this war. I hate bush for bringing us into iraq. I know chris died fighting a war he understood both sides of. I know he went to iraq willingly. he felt a great loyalty to the men he led. He was a great leader with deep respect and love for those his men. His troops loved him and he loved them. I know chris made many peoples time in iraq better for his presence there. I talked to his mother on Thursday. She'd left me a simple message the words of which will haunt me forever. "andrea, I am calling to tell you chris was killed in action today. I wanted you to hear this from me first." We talked and cried, and then remembered chris. And in doing so my heart ached a little less. As I know…and as I feel so much more now…it is the memories that make it possible to go on. For me I remember smiles and laughter with chris. I remember how cool I thought he was when he was in high school and I was still in junior high. He was so cute and stylish, and he went to a private boarding school. I remember one visit during this time, where chris, my brother, and I sat listening to music together. A tape of yaz. He loved them. I thought he knew everything, so I loved them too. I've never heard a yaz song without thinking of chris and how very very awesome it was to know him. I hope you are in a beautifully good place now chris, I hope you have peace and that we who are left here can find peace too.