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i've been spending my nights on xbox live and/or playing fable. my dad keeps the frig stocked with nice beers, which i am pleased to help him drink. my feet stay propped up on the footrest, even though there's a nice carpet beneath the chair i stay plopped in for hours. if i'm not doing that, i disappear upstairs for hours and play violin, forgetting what time it is. i try to spend my time doing things that fight off thinking. not cuz anything is bad, just because everything still feels off kilter being back.

i woke up today after having had a massive dream in a dream college situation slash tony hawk pro skater two new york level as my home base. i took a short trip to ireland, then australia, swimming with some shark hunters but not finding anything. every half hour or so i would return to the college/video game level place where i was living, which had a short stretch of dirty beach with run down shacks(where my particular abode was). people would act real messed up and i'd pop, storming off not, not wanting to talk to anyone. then mary claire and her sister showed up and were like whoah, you're back! that was hilarious, cuz i was all pissed off at everyone, and they explained that i can't expect people to try and understand where i'm coming from when they got their own problems, especially when i deliberately put myself in such a weird situation for the past couple years. i was like yeah, i know, i just would appreciate a smile here and there, damn it. they agreed that that was reasonable, and then i flew(like superman) back to the shark hunting in australia.

after that, i wandered into some massive mall complex by the shark beach in australia, not the college/video game homebase. more weird interpersonal relationships/misunderstandings proceeded to occur.

that junk is why i play xbox and violin; the writing helps too since i get to escape to the past. weird weirdness.

peace