heads

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one of my provisional roommates was saying a few days ago how rigorous travelling allows people to move to new places within their own country and hit the ground running, so to speak. i've thought back on that several times over the past few days.

i would agree with that, certainly, but it's more like i hit the ground running, dodging things coming my way left and right. i think my time in morocco was a time for me to grow up, something that the traditional socialization track for people like me here in the states couldn't have offered me for several more years. i think i go through the same anxiety and sense of missing out/falling behind as anyone else, i'm just a little bit better at keeping it to myself.

things are going really well here for me so far. in my cynical nature i turn each corner ready to lose my job, my apartment, my opportunities. if i were to sit down and speak honestly, everything is going great, but i don't let myself kick back and slack off. so little bumps shake me up almost as much as something big would, though at the same time i do my best to keep everything in perspective. the tough part is allowing the cynical side give me the edge that i use to drive on, but keep that cynicality from getting me down.

i love the comedy that pops in and out of it all. like having one of the best friday nights i've had in a long time with good friends old and new, followed by spending four hours plus trying to get home on the train on what should have been a fifteen minute ride. in one night i accidentally saw two ends of new york that i wouldn't have normally seen for another year or two at least. thank you for the ride, A train.

peace