by aubrey
So. I know I’m not ready for graduate school quite yet, in part because I can’t narrow down the thrust of what I’d most like to study. That’s what brings me to you all today. In one camp: gender studies, queer theories, cultural studies, rhetoric, and performance studies. In another: medical sociology. The dark horse: playwriting. The newcomer: public policy.
I shouldn’t even really include playwriting–it’s not really an option. I can’t honestly see myself living that kind of hand-to-mouth life for so long, shuttling around the country for whatever opportunities arise, or spending more than a weekend in New York, Los Angeles, Minneapolis or Louisville. And beside all those constitutional sorts of reasons, my sister-in-law is a remarkably successful playwright, and there’s just no way to swing it under the radar. I suppose the primary appeal of a playwriting program is that I feel as though I had just hit some big stride in my last semester at school. I was writing plays that interested me, that seemed to be excavating something worthwhile, and that were beginning to develop hints of some sophisticated, intricate structure, at least to my mind. And I want to revisit that, but not for tens of thousands of dollars of debt. So playwriting: out.
Medical sociology is fascinating to me, and is a long-time like, but I do wonder if I can be sustained by such a linear and particular field for several years (if not a lifetime career). UCSF has what appears to be a stellar program in medical sociology that offers some kind of potential life outside the academy. It also seems like a place I might actually be able to delve into some meaningful work in intersex studies. Public policy is the other pragmatic route, and one I haven’t looked into much. It opens loads of doors, and could be a great way to continue working in politics, just in a way and on a level that most interests me.
And then there’s the theory. All the programs ending in “studies” or “theories,” all of which most likely land me as some sort of professor. I adore the thought of teaching, but keep hearing rumblings of misgivings about actually making a career in academia. And I love theory. I love, love, love it. It’s pretty much all of my recreational reading. And those are the programs that could potentially take me to places like UC Santa Cruz, Berkeley, Stanford, UCLA, or back to Brown. Those heavy hitters with the intensive environments I love so well.
So, the question I pose to all of you: have you been to grad school? If so, what kind of program did you attend, and how did you like it? If not, why not? And either way, what are you up to now, and how do you feel about your decision? Any recommendations for someone in the throes of the decision-making process?
Whew. Thanks in advance for any & all input, everybody.
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it sounds like you’ve made your decision already. you love, love, love theory. that’s what you should do. all the other options are interests and seem like options based on external pressures. by that i mean there is a concern surrounding income, paying bills, making money, etc. we are programmed from a very early age that success=money, college=job, etc. ultimately you have to do what will make you happiest. i mean you could follow one of the other paths, continue reading theory and attending lectures, or you could be writing theory and giving the lectures.
i have two masters degrees in fine arts, have lived hand to mouth my entire adult life, and have a large amount of debt, and i wouldn’t change it. i loved grad school, and i couldn’t possibly do anything else. fuck a future potential job, you have to do what you like and feels right. eventually, a “career” will work itself out. i wouldn’t get fixated on a career as a professor in theory, that’s not the reason to get into it. i’m sure there are other paths to follow. re-read your post. i doesn’t sound like you have any other options. and that’s a good thing.
ben :: dec 21 2007 :: 1:04 pm
i’m with ben on this one.
i had three big loves going into grad school: theatre, writing, and education. i had already majored in theatre, and i knew that i would write for myself whether i studied writing at the graduate level or not. i didn’t really plan to be a career teacher; i just had some ideas about the relationship between education and theatre that i wanted to work through.
i chose a fairly small, cohort-based program with an emphasis on discussion and practical experimentation. i didn’t realize how competitive or high-ranking it was until after i got in. like i said, i was about the ideas.
grad school was hard, but i loved it. i learned massive amounts that i’ve been using ever since, but there was also a lot of theory that i discarded altogether.
since then i’ve taught on three different continents, and i love my work. i use theatre in my teaching, and i still write. i never get paid a lot, but i have more than enough for what i need.
i’ll go for my doctorate pretty soon, i think. but i won’t have a career in mind; just some ideas i’ve been working through and would like to explore in depth. and that’s what i’d recommend to anyone who asked me. go where your interest takes you, and study what you love to study for the love of it. do what you like, and make a change when your gut tells you a change is needed. it’s that simple.
hank :: dec 28 2007 :: 2:47 pm