stab master arson

suggested track: "godlike (doglike mix)" by kmfdm

the loan situation has become gray. not bad, not good, just gray. in an e-mail from the collections manager, he didn't sound too happy that i may not have the money for him on friday. i've been trying to find a way to get this money post haste. a very nice woman in the bursar's office explained to me this morning that the system used to process and disperse refunds has been down since friday. why it took multiple visits, two days, and one phone call to get this information is beyond me. but i explained how i needed that money in my hands by friday, and she asked me to call her back tomorrow morning, so an arrangement could possibly be made. this makes me feel better, since i didn't get an upset collections manager in response to the situation in an e-mail. however, my confidence is very low as to getting this resolved by friday. so it looks like no sleep for ben until i can get this all taken care of.

i have also decided to get an M.A. this semester. essentially a worthless degree (any type of art employment usually wants an M.F.A.), i will use it basically to cover my own ass. one, it is a "free" degree, and i am doing all the work for this degree on my way to earning an MFA so i might as well. two, if i decide to not return in the fall i will at least have come away with a something from here. three, it means that i must put together a show at the end of the semester, thereby giving my semester a great deal of focus. four, it makes me eligible for a vilas grant here at the university, if i should choose to apply. but mainly it is for reason #2. if i do not return at least i would have come away with something tangible from this university (i don't count an insane amount of debt as being tangible). it's going to kick my ass, but i hope it'll be worth it. if i'm not homeless, by the end of the day friday, i'll continue to update.