on a steel horse i ride

suggetsed track: "cursed be the blessed" by endthisday

the shit is pretty much hitting the fan. one of my professors, is not returning to teach next semester. he has been out this semester on not quite medical leave, but more like a medical sabattical. why this is so bad? he is on my committee. which means i may (scratch that, will) have to scramble to find another professor willing to be on my committee. a bunch of us figure he is on about 15 different committees. which means he is screwing over about fifiteen students that are getting ready to graduate. there are at least two people that he is the chair of their committees. he was a real good person to have on a committee, even if he is a grumpy old bastard. fuck.

also, another big stress in my life is post graduation. i have no fucking idea what i am going to do. there are a couple of jobs that i am applying for (one is in canada!), but the chances of even being considered for one of these jobs is so slim. the competition is so strong. it sucks having two masters degrees (or will have) and still not being qualified enough to get a job. i'm also looking into resedencies. hopefully i can string some of those along, and delay entering the real world a little longer.

also i applied for an opportunity here for a solo show at the uw marathon center (another college far away from here) which also involves a lecture and critiqueing/visiting classes there. i really want this, but i have my doubts. generally, when it comes to applying for things here my attitude is "if anyone else applies, then i won't get it." what sucks is that i really want this, and i know i won't get it. wish me luck anyway.