i am in love with sol lewitt. i dont know if ive mentioned that, but i am. i went to dia:beacon today and got to see a huge, multi-room installation of some of his line explorations. absolutely amazing. insanely simple and really lovely. in fact most of dia was this way. bernd and hilla becher, joseph beuys, michael heizer, agnes martin, gerhard richter, fred sandback, richard serra, robert smithson… they were all fascinating and crushing and beautiful.

i am currently fantasizing about what my apartment will look like when i leave new haven. i am beginning to pick out colors for my bedroom (a few months ago it was chocolate brown and pale pale sea green, now it’s a pale pink ceiling, a dark dark grey wall, and hints of navy and black and maybe orange or rust) and pick out furniture in my head. im straight-up obsessed. and im comfortable with this obsession. i was obsessed when i moved to new haven and i was able to arrange my place without buying anything but an overstuffed chair. this move, i’ll likely sell most of what i have and start fresh. i am very excited by this prospect. i plan to buy quite a few things once i have a job and i plan to live off an air mattress and clothes folded in boxes until i can buy what i want. taking a limited number of items to a new city excites me. the idea of being less connected to the things around me makes me feel like ive made some progress in the last few years on my quest to pare down. of course, i wont be paring down long…

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today was a great day. i’d hoped to post some about my last month away from school while in the JFK jetblue terminal for the millionth time this year, but i had to wait outside the gate area after retrieving my bags and thus i didnt have wireless. so that update might have to come later. pics will be up on flickr sometime soon.
today was a good day, though. i drove to cornwall, ct (through gorgeous, if not exceedingly pretentious, litchfield) to visit a professor at her amazing modern home that sits upon acres of land in northern CT. it was gorgeous. the whole drive was filled with mist and fog and the mountains were breathtaking. the visit with her was lovely. lots of good advice, time with her two rambunctious but adorable dogs, introductions to her precious kids and husband/business partner. all-in-all, a great afternoon.
and yes, tripp is finally redesigning MOG. ive actually been lax about posting here, in part, because i hate the way the site looks presently. but since my plate has been overflowing with stress in the last semester, i didnt have time to sketch anything new for tripp. thankfully he’s done it on his own and it’s a vast improvement. cant wait until it’s up.
tis all for now. tonight is a dinner party of red wine and pasta at a friend’s, which might also include some games of cards if i am lucky.

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winter wonderlands meet sunny afternoons. black labs meet yappy dogs. hamburgers meet late-night thai and spaghetti dinners meet scorching woodstoves. iced steps, broken-down cars, biggie smalls. dreams of exes meet dreams of dads. sun-drenched mornings meet empty coffee shops and high-speed interstates meet random playlists. left brain meets right brain and cartwheels meet skipping. you meet me and life goes on.

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there are so many things i cant do right now. i havent felt like this in a long time.

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i am, yet again, in the jetblue terminal at jfk. ive been wracking up the jetblue points lately and im loving it. my flight home and back was only $100. that’s way cheaper than the train, and it’s equal to the train when you add in things like my shuttle to get from CT to NY.

i have a lot to write about. i had wanted to sit in this terminal and write my long, drawn-out post about what’s been going on with me lately, but i instead spent about 40 minutes on the phone with my mom helping her pick out food while she was at the grocery store. it’s occurred to me that i eat very differently from my mother’s cooking now that im on my own. i’m sure my food is a great deal more bland, but ive found that i cant eat sauces and oils or i get sick. so now my diet consists of chicken and fresh vegetables, yogurt and granola and sushi and some pasta. ive cut out pizza and i barely eat sugar anymore. i drink less coffee. i often substitute my coffee for green tea. i eat a lot of dried fruit and almonds. in general, i do not make ‘dishes.’ i do not like sauces in general… the thought of preservatives and artificial colorings makes me cringe.

in general, ive become more aware of the toxins in my life. awhile back i purchased some organic health care products… face scrubs and face wash and makeup and lotion. it’s also happened that most of my shopping has been done at trader joe’s this semester just b/c ive caught rides with friends instead of walking to the neighborhood shaw’s (which is more like a kroger or a ralph’s). this has also made me aware of my diet… i used to never think about whether my dried fruit had sulphur in it or not, but now i do.

i also recently saw a story on the today show about prepping your house for a healthy pregnancy (no, im not pregnant), and the number of toxins in our houses really suprised me. a couple of women who had recently been pregnant and more recently had written a book about prepping the home for pregnancy did a walk-through with another pregnant woman in her house. you could see her freaking out as they went from room to room… the authors pointed out things like:

household cleaners should be non-toxic (i do this)
carpets and furniture should not be coated with flame retardants/stain protection as theyre carcinogenic (my stuff is definitely coated with stain-protectors and flame retardants)
mattresses should be organic as their flame-retardants are often formaldehyde-based (my mattress is like 50 yrs old… it’s either too old for flame-retardants or is probably super-carcinogenic)
sheets should be organic, not bleached, cotton (my sheets are definitely bleached, and bleach is a carcinogenic)
paint should be non-toxic (i probably live in a building with lead paint)

anyhow… it’s just made me think. it’s also made me happy that i’ll be getting rid of a lot of items from my current apartment when i move and that i can purchase new items with a new sense of what’s good for me.

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so much shit has gone down in my life in the last three weeks it is hard for me to package it neatly in a post. ive had no desire to discuss it online. but rest-assured that i WILL post about it within the next week. my life has been turned upside down and there is a lot i have to say about it.

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all i think about anymore is going home. i do like my life here, immensely, actually. i like the people im with and the amenities of yale and the fact that im close to new york and the fact that im not in a big city. i have a lot to like about my life in new haven. but when i walk around town, i wish it were warmer. i wish i had a car. i wish i could stop walking on sidewalks and have a yard and a house instead of an apartment. i wish for a quiet life where i have time to read and cook and watch movies. i just cant wait to move back south. at the same time, i had some of those things in dc… they werent all my own, but i had a yard and i had wood floors and i had time to cook and exercise and watch movies… and i was lonely. i did so much by myself that it became somewhat mundane. i got tired of living in my own head. i have to remember that the grass is always greener and that there is so much now to appreciate. it just amazes me how much i miss home… i always think that going away will help me appreciate new places but it often just makes me like the mid-atlantic all the more.

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