so i havent posted in awhile. and i apologize. school got totally insane the last week before break — i pulled three all-nighters in one week which might be a personal best (or worst). it wasnt fun. i got to the point where i started imagining what sleep deprivation must be like for prisoners of war and how all i wanted to do was stretch out on a big bed and sleep for hours and hours and hours. but i didnt. instead, i got on a train to va. on the train, i slept a lot. so much that when i woke up and was talking to the woman across the aisle from me, she said ‘i thought that girl must be comatose! you were sleeping so soundly so long!’… which was true. i knew id have an 8hr train ride home, so i took a tylenol pm before i got to the train station and i called it a day at 11am. needless to say, i didnt sleep _that much_. i opened my eyes in penn station, i slept through new jersey, i woke up in philly, i slept through delaware, i opened my eyes in baltimore, i woke up for good in dc. by that point, i was so ancy to get home i couldnt sleep. i got home, finally, slept from midnight to four am, and then got on a plane to minnesota with my mom and hung out in the midwest for four days. it was great to see my cousins and aunt and uncle: really, really great. but the midwest was a little overwhelming. the accents of minnesota drive me nuts but thankfully my relatives’ accents arent too thick. and the space in those states was overwhelming. i didnt know what to do with fields on all sides. i started to think about how people who move from the ghetto to the suburbs must feel and how uncomfortable it is to be in a place where you dont know the rules about how life works. in iowa, i felt like mason city was a foreign country and i felt like people between minneapolis and mason city dont fight with each other, they fight with nature. maybe that’s a lot of projection on my part. but i was just amazed at how _sensible_ everyone was. and how boring/nerve-wracking that was for me. i guess i needed something to worry about and everything there just seemed so normal. better, i know. better for things to be normal that to worry about nonsensical things just because im accustomed to a sped-up life hopped up on coffee and stress. but still. it felt odd.
and now im home in VA. i got sick. a cold. and im taking zicam to remedy it. it’s been working. i had tried the pills a few months ago and they tasted like ass so now im doing a nasal GEL (so foul) but it seems to be working and i havent been as sick as i couldve been. ive actually barely been sick after the first day. the first day, i sat in the den and did work and watched project runway all day. got through the majority of the season in a whole day instead of giving up a weeknight for twelve weeks or whatever it was.
home has its own frustrations and worries and downsides. but it also has my cats and my parents fresh air. it’s also been really really warm… like 80s warm… all week, so that’s been joyous. thank god for the south.
im worried about going back to school. i have a ton of work to finish and not a lot of time in which to finish it. and not a ton of ideas about how to finish some of it…