where the green grass grows

all i think about anymore is going home. i do like my life here, immensely, actually. i like the people im with and the amenities of yale and the fact that im close to new york and the fact that im not in a big city. i have a lot to like about my life in new haven. but when i walk around town, i wish it were warmer. i wish i had a car. i wish i could stop walking on sidewalks and have a yard and a house instead of an apartment. i wish for a quiet life where i have time to read and cook and watch movies. i just cant wait to move back south. at the same time, i had some of those things in dc… they werent all my own, but i had a yard and i had wood floors and i had time to cook and exercise and watch movies… and i was lonely. i did so much by myself that it became somewhat mundane. i got tired of living in my own head. i have to remember that the grass is always greener and that there is so much now to appreciate. it just amazes me how much i miss home… i always think that going away will help me appreciate new places but it often just makes me like the mid-atlantic all the more.