Like Steve McQueen - All I Need Is a Fast Machine

This hysterical bit came in an e-mail from my sister:

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Chevrolet Caprice, aged 21. Known as Chevy, she died in her East Hampton retirement home of complications of old age and excessive emissions syndrome (EES).

She had a lifetime of faithful service; in her youth she was the gallant transport of Gerard and Mildred (Grandpa and Grandma) Donovan on treks from Florida to New York and Pennsylvania. Mildred bequeathed onto her the pink pillow that remained in the back seat until her dying day. In the next phase of her life, Chevy accompanied Robert (Bob) Pagnotta on his weekly commutation between Rockville Centre, NY and Fairfax, Virginia. It is presumed that she first acquired EES during this period.

In her final years, she was lovingly ensconced in the east end of Long Island. She had various residences in Montauk during the summers and was often found at Ditch Plains Beach, having transported many people, beach chairs, umbrellas and sufboards with room to spare. She was present the night of Mary and Dan's fateful "chaperoned first date" and many have speculated that she was the real attraction for him on that date. During this period, the Bohn family of Rockville Centre hospitably entertained her during winter months. Her final years were spent in East Hampton, and during this semi-retirement her activity was limited to trips to the golf course and supermarket. Over the last two winters, she was comforted by field mice seeking winter warmth.

Chevy is survived by Mary Pagnotta and Dan Terrasi (by marriage). In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the wine cellar at 3 Timberline Road, so that toasts may be made in her honor.

Rest in peace.

My addendum: Unfortunately omitted from this obit are the two or three summers I spent driving this car to work at the Westbury Beach Club in Atlantic Beach. It wasn't an ideal summer car buy any means, the cloth on the ceiling hung down and rested on the top of your head, the air conditioning didn't work, the windows were unpowered, the radio was AM only, and the car performed like the old man it was. Still it got me from A to B, was a roomy venue for the occasional hookup, and even gave Tim Novarro's Camaro a run for its money when I would race him through the streets of Atlantic Beach (how we got through those epic episodes of stupidity without causing any fatalities still boggles my mind). It went on to serve admirably for many years for my sister when she was renting timeshares in Montauk and more recently at the house in the Hamtons as noted above. Through it all my Grandmother's pink pillow remained ensconsed in the back seat. It was always mildly embarassing to have, I mean what guy keeps a pink pillow in his car? But somehow I could never bring myself to throw it away. RIP.