Step outside the summertime's in bloom

This spring/summer is going to kick so much ass I can't even boil it down to ten reasons. (I tried). So here they are the top 11 reasons this summer is going to kick ass:

11. Restaurants on the Upper West Side all put their tables out on the side walk. You can enjoy a delightful meal in the sun and fresh air while you appreciate the number one reason that this summer is going to kick ass. (You can scroll down to read it, but that would be cheating.)

10. Dizzee Rascal at Irving Plaza April 23rd - Homeboy can RAP! South London's finest MC takes to the mic touring his masterpiece Showtime.

9. Velvet Revolver at Jones Beach Amphitheater May 14th. Last time I saw Slash was when he was touring his first Snakepit album and had Gilby Clarke on rhythme guitar and they absolutely shredded at Irving Plaza. This is a better band than Snakepit (with all due respect to Gilby who still reigns as the former GNR artist with the best post GNR release).

8. Nine Inch Nails at the Hammerstein Ballroom May 16th. I had to shell out 130 clams for the ticket, but there was no way I was going to miss this tour. The new album leaked already and while it's not as good as the Fragile it's definitely got some bumping tunes and a couple really compelling departures from the typical NIN sound. All that aside though the real draw here is seeing this band in a club as opposed to the arenas that I saw them at the last 3 times.

7. Motley Crue at Jones Beach Amphitheater August something or other. Will they play "Too Young to Fall in Love" again? Will there be explosions? Will Tommy Lee wave his dick around again? Will girls in the audience show their tits? Will I be as fucked up as I was last time? We can only hope that the answer to all these questions is yes.

6. Sundays at Shea - I renewed my ticket package with the Mets (all 13 Sunday homegames and it looks like they might be a half decent team this year. Even if they're not I'm going to be drunk and loud in section 17 of the Mezzanine. Let's Go Mets!

5. East End bizness. Certain family members are in possesion of a nice house in nice neighborhood. If said family members are reading this they should know I'd love an invitation (hint hint).

4. West End bizness. A certain family members is renting (for the time being anyway) a decent house house in neighborhood that's geographically close and right near the beach. If said family member is reading this he should know I'd love an invitation (hint hint).

3. Homebrew. It's nice to know that no matter what happens during the course of the day that there are 22 bottles of homemade Brown Ale maturing in my apartment. Cheers!

2. Weddings. In chronological order Liz Hudson, Nate, and Cathy T are getting married this summer. Excuse me sir, can you point me towards the open bar?

1. The New York City Flesh Parade - I fall in love two or three times every day on the 1,9 trains between 79th Street and Penn Station as it is. Now that the weather has turned jeans, slacks, and blouses are giving way to sundresses, shorts, and tank tops. This means that delectable displays of legs, necks and bellies are on offer to the slobbering lechers like myself. Boh!