Conspiracy theories

I just realized that I'm not going to get as much sleep as I thought I was tonight. Damn the daylight savings time oppresion. It's just another ploy by this self-centered capitalist government and big business to keep me down by stealing an hour of my life. Sure, they give it back after summer, but what am I going to do with it then? Nothing of course. I need it now.

What's that? Why don't I just go to sleep earlier? Why don't I stop typing so I can get more sleep? You people are all the same, with your mind control and your big brother* tactics. Well, you won't change me. The common people should be aware of what's going on. But they're not, are they? They're like sheep. First, they watch a little tv, a few commercials, and then, suddenly, it's "oh but we must have enough in the budget for a new suv, that golfer has one, and he's the best**". And it's nothing but a slippery slope from there, my friends.

Soon they won't even worry about the important issues, like gun control, abortion, and why little Timothy from the Virgin Islands can't celebrate Arbor Day until a full seven months after the entire population of Georgia***. What the hell is up with that? Just another scheme by the news media to hype another holiday almost year round, what with their special coverages and state by state countdown. Best tree planting times? Rubbish. It's all about ratings and the all-mighty dollar. We have a national Arbor Day people, let's stick to it.

And don't even get me started about the tire fire. How dumb do they think we are? I mean isn't it obvious that all they're doing is clearing out space so that people don't feel as bad about illegally dumping more of their old tires there, and buying new ones? And let's not forget the convenience factor. People have old tires, they certainly won't drive all the way to the proper facilities to dump them, so they just hang on to the ones they have a little longer. Now they don't have an excuse. Just swing by the old illegal dumping ground again, there's plenty of space now. I don't have any proof (yet), but my guess is, the person who lit the match was wearing a Michelin jacket.

So the point I'm trying to get across to you people, in retrospect, is that if you have bronchitis, and are taking really strong medicines which may impair you clear-headedness, it's probably a good idea to wait at least twenty four hours before posting a new entry in your online journal.

* Yes it's a 1984 reference. No it's not refering to that stupid reality tv show. I just pray everone knew that.

** Bold, underlined, and italics all on the same word is overkill.

*** Proof, you say? I've got your proof right here. (Warning: propoganda ensues.)