80 please keep taking me away

I'm currently eating my dinner, which consists of a small pack of Chex Mix, a Coke and some M&M's. I'm forced to eat this crappy meal because the airport I'm in, Long Beach Airport, is the WORST AIRPORT IN THE WORLD.

I've been to a lot of airports across the US and world, and this is far and away the shittiest I've ever had to spend my time in. If I had a choice, I'd be at Burbank or (shrug) LAX, but since Jet Blue doesn't fly out of those, I'm forced to go here.

See, here's what's bothering me: Long Beach actually has a proper restaurant, but it's closed for a private party. First off, who the fuck throws a private party at a small, crappy airport restaurant in a small crappy airport? And if you only have one restaurant, how can you let it get booked for a private party when you damn well know the only other food in the whole place comes out of vending machines?

And Jet Blue, how can you have a hub at this airport? You're supposed to be the hip, new airline that everyone talks about. So why don't you set up in an airport people who actually like to use? It's not like you have a problem with large airports. Hell, I'm flying into JFK with you in a half hour. If you weren't so cheap you'd be losing a customer for life.

And as for you Long Beach, you can suck my ass. I'm never coming back to your sorry whitetrashistan excuse for an airport ever again.