All my friends are strangers

Life goes in waves. I'm convinced of it. Or let me get more specific, my life goes in waves. I've noticed it for years, looking back and reflecting. I go in waves of being ultra social to being ultra anti-social, generally in four year waves.

First year is very anti-social, and remains so until about year 3 and a half, and then things suddenly change, I'm surrounded by a completely new social group, I go out all the time and have the time of my life, and then generally something fairly major happens in my life that marks a change, and then everyone starts to flake, relationships evolve, and things start to change. The major event doesn't necessary have to do with the friendships. The last "major event" was my car crash a couple of years ago. Things started to slowly change with my friends, but I was kind of avoiding it. For some reason I've been really trying hard to keep things the same with my friends, and I've slowly but surely started to realize that things have been changing.

I'm rambling. It's expected, as I've had some drinks with dinner. With a good friend. A strange coincidence to go with my topic. Anyways.

The big point is that I'm consciously going to start to be anti-social. This is always a conscious decision, solely based on my past experiences. I'm starting to feel that most of my friends are becoming very unreliable. We're all in our early 20's, yet I feel most of my friends are acting older than their years. They complain about staying up late, about being tired. I've got the next 40 years to complain about this, but only 7 more years left in my 20's. Being tired can wait, but I can't wait for them.

Christina has been going through this with her friends from high school for a while, but the main difference between her situation and mine is that her friends were always flakes. This is a new development for me. It'd be sad if it wasn't expected.

I feel like I've been neglecting a lot in my conquest to remain close to my friends. I miss my photography, my design, my writing, reading, goofing off, and everything else that goes with being completely independent. I almost forgot how ultra-independent I generally am. It's generally to the point that I appear inconsiderate with my actions. This too is a conscious decision.

I don't know where I'm really going with this. I guess I'm just letting it known that I'm going to be a lot more choosy with what I do and who I do it with. A little about me: I screen my phone calls very tightly. I'll not pick up the phone if my best friend calls me if I'm not in the mood to talk. I'm probably going to be even crazier with my screening. I'm going to going out a lot more, but without my usual crew, and not doing the usual "social" things. If you're not sure what I mean, neither do I. Independence!

So forgive me now, as I know not what I do. Because I won't tell you.