i'm making an effort

there is one more story from saturday:

i made the last post while sitting in lithium, then, as i was walking home i was stopped by a young latino wearing a blue dress shirt and black slacks. so instead of crossing the street, i turned around and walked over to where he was standing on the sidewalk. he asked me "do you know how to tie a tie?" i smiled in surprise and before i could even answer he said "i'm getting married today."

the tie that hung around his neck was a simple black and dark blue pattern that matched his shirt well enough. he seemed young to me and if i had to guess i would say about 18 or 19 years old. we were about the same height though he had 40 lbs on me and his buzzed head a sharp contrast to my shaggy haircut. in his eyes, i saw nerves and i wondered what brought him to that moment. that somehow, despite all the assembled family and friends that i imagined must be waiting for him, he asked a stanger, a twenty-something white guy in dark sunglasses carrying a messenger bag in little armenia to help him with his tie.

so i said "sure" or "no problem" and took his tie in my hands. there was a sudden intimacy between us, the awkward kind that would never be acknowledged. as i went through the inverted knotting motions i thought of my dad tying my tie when i was kid. the first two tries came out the wrong length and i made the typical commentary about process, describing each action: "around this way" "over the middle" "through the loop" "pull it down" "just a bit short". the third time was right and i had him fold his collar down. cinched up, the tie hung almost to his belt. i adjusted the knot, tweaking symmetry into it.

"congratulations"

"thanks"

"good luck"

i turned and crossed the street.