bought nothing

did you forget 'Buy nothing day'?

well you can make up for it by celebrating one of the other '…nothing days' coming up soon:

'Earn Nothing Day' - Profit is wrong. Everytime you make a dollar, someone else must suffer. Spend (ironic?) this day doing anything but increasing your personal wealth. Make sure you remember to suspend all your interest bearing bank accounts!

'Eat Nothing Day' - Resist gastronomic indulgence. This is not 'fasting', that's for religious nuts. Nor is this day about justifying your anorexia either, though skinny hipsters definitely have an advantage in observing a full 24 hours without munching.

'Think Nothing Day' - Cast off the bonds of intelligence. Organized thought patterns are just that: patterns! All your 'original' ideas are really just intellectual vanity and have absolutely no cosmic significance. Try not to even meditate on this day. That means no yoga too.

'Sense Nothing Day' - Finally a practical application for that sensory deprivation tank! Picture yourself as a wise monkey that neither sees, nor hears, nor speaks… anything. Of course speaking is not traditionally a sense, but it's not like you have anything interesting to say today as nothing new has happened to you. That you've noticed.

'Wash Nothing Day' - Cleanliness is next to godliness. And you know what happens to those who try to become gods on earth right? Well don't risk biblical retribution for your conceit, instead just marinate in your own sweet sauces.

'Wear Nothing Day' - Except for nudists. You all need to put some damn clothes on. None of us wants to see your pasty white flesh. Ugh.

'Compute Nothing Day' - No calculations of any kind. That includes pi, e, mersenne prime numbers, first order theorems and other such nonsense. Can't use a computer so no internet, email, cell phone, ipod, television… get your analog on.

'Make Nothing Day' - The world is already full of stuff. Stop it. We have enough. Especially no arts or crafts. I'm so sick of all that crap.

'Move Nothing Day' - Fight entropy. Sit or lay very still. You may breathe.

'Play Nothing Day' - How can you have fun while so many less fortunate are suffering? You selfish prick.

'Protest Nothing Day' - Um. This is pretty much a normal day for most of us. No complaints about social injustice. Try not to have any revolutionary or counter-revolutionary thoughts. Don't wear your Che shirt today, unless you have just like the graphic and have no idea who he was.

Don't fancy any of the above? Make your own!