Day One

It's the first 12 on 12 off night shift on the boat, and our second night on the boat. I'm listening to Beck, Sea Change, and drinking moutain dew code red to stay awake. We are headed towards very rough seas, projected to include 12 to 14 ft waves within the next twenty-four hours. Day crew moved the aircraft down into the hangar bay and lashed all loose gear in the shop down to the tables and walls. There is nothing for us to do tonight. Some guys are watching movies on the shop t.v., some are playing video games on their laptops, and some are working on their MCI courses. I completed "principles of instruction for the marine nco" earlier. I am now performing damage control on my mp3 player. One day on the boat and all my electronics go down. I can't figure out why the mp3 player turns on but will not work at all. While transfering all music files to my laptop for safekeeping in case something else happens to the player, the norton virus window pops up. The only way to ensure the laptop is fixed is to do a fresh install of all software, however, I have no way to back up all the music files if they both go down at the same time. It's a scary balance. I am now playing the battery game between the laptop and the player because I only have access to one outlet and they both need wall power for such a lengthy operation.

I'm already down below 3/4's on the laptop battery.

I still am not used to the rocking of the boat. My sea legs are slow to grow so far. I'm far from sea sick, but it still feels like I've had a little too much to drink.That mainly due to the fact really hauling through the water, which is about the only time the boat rocks noticeably. I'd say we were doing at least 40 mph this afternoon. That's fast when you consider something the size of a medium/large office building. I have no idea what 14 ft seas will feel like, though. Putting 12-16 chains on each aircraft gives me somewhat of an idea.

My whole body aches after one night in my bunk, or "coffin rack" We have new mattresses, which sounded nice until I discovered that I had lost a couple inches of clearance in my rack. That's how tight these things are, you really notice two inches. They are approprately called coffin racks. I feel bad for anyone over six foot. It's only been a day and I already hate this place. The people stink and I'm never more that a few inches from somebody. The food is unappetizing, to say the least. There is no sunlight. The floor will not stay flat. You have to wait in lines for everything, sometimes just to get through a door or down a hallway if there's people coming the other way. And those are just some of the reasons I can't stand the boat. I didn't mention any of the things or people that I miss. The first and foremost being Kady, my wife. I might as well be on a another planet as far as she's concerned. Hell, even the Mars rover has a better connection to those that monitor it. Our network is not up yet, and who knows how long it'll be before I have e-mail. There's no cell-phone towers in the ocean between CA and HI. Poor planning on Ma Bell's part. Ah, well, back to pen and paper…the bronze age of letter writing.

Thoughts of Kady run amok through my brain. My mind calls up images of her constantly. The fights we had and the good times pop up with equal frequency. I feel like I am mourning as if she died yestarday…except that it was myself who left her behind. Most often I see her as she looked when we said goodbye at the pier. It seemed like all the other women were almost happy and the guys glad to be gone. I feel horrible that I could not cry. Even in the rack alone that night I could not cry. I have always been separated from my emotions, and I have spent the last two years in an environment that encourages that detatchment. I imagine one day the tears will release all at once, a lifetime's worth in one horrible torrent. So I picture Kady crying in the car, or trying to hold herself together at dinner, and I think what an asshole I am for doing this to somebody. Anybody. And sweet Kady…

Total battery power remaining: 51% Whoever said that these batteries should last me three hours was full of shit. I have an estimated 45 min remaining…I started out with an hour and a half, and it's been maybe twenty minutes. Grrr. Now transferring 1860 of 2398. Music files that is. This is going to be close. Real close. I really want to thank Tripp for all the stuff he burnt for my little cruise before I left. So many music files, comics, and the gameboy emulator. That should tide me over, especially if I can figure out how to view the comics since the viewer doesn't seem to work at all. I can't wait to watch Star Wars! Kady promised to watch them with me (she's never seen them!) when I get back. I only hope I don't wear them out before then. Tripp, I swear I'll treat them like gold. Thanks.

Okay, all files transferred. 40% power remaining. Oh, God, why won't my mp3 player reboot?!?! What am I going to do if I can't fix it? I could mail it home, and hope it gets fixed and mailed back to me in one piece…but I can't exactly call customer service from the boat. Let's try removing the battery for a sec….oh,whew. I don't know how, I don't know why…but that fixed it! Yayy! Everything's going to be okay. Deep breath. Now I just need to back up all the rest of my precious data to the mp3 player and do a complete re-install of my software. I'll save that for another night. First I have to make sure that I brought eveything with me, and that I can live without anything I forgot. I'm starting to wish I'd packed more carefully. Six months is a long time.

Stay tuned for next time when I figure out who I'm talking to with this. "Baby I'm a lost cause."