You know, I’ve never had much interest in James Cameron’s Avatar.

Until now!

PLAYBOY: How much did you get into calibrating your movie heroine’s hotness?
CAMERON: Right from the beginning I said, “She’s got to have tits,” even though that makes no sense because her race, the Na’vi, aren’t placental mammals.

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“Who better than Burton Morris to paint PopTarts toaster pastries into pop culture history?”

Oh, I don’t know, Andy Warhol? That was kind of his thing, and he was fairly well known…

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“Honey, what do you think of my new dress?”

“Wow, you’re so beautiful right now it reminds me of why I married you. I actually want to spend time alone with you again! Let’s use our credit card’s reward points to take a vacation, just you and me.”

“We can’t.”

“Sure we can! I’ve got lots of vacation time, and you’re constantly skipping work to go shopping. We’ll go to fancy dinners and speedboat around the Mediterranean!”

“We can’t use the points for a vacation.”

“Why not? They’re our points, we earned them, spending our money on our bills and our necessary items. And I work a deadening dead-end job 60 hours a week so we can afford to pay off our crippling credit card debt, but at least we’ve earned enough points that we can finally get away for awhile and do something that we can enjoy together. Plus, the credit card people said we can use the points on anything.”

“I know! I used all our points on this dress I’ll never be able to wear because we can’t afford to go anywhere fancy enough for me to wear it! O, Henry, what a predicament!…Honey? Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because I know a lucky son of a bitch who’s getting a divorce and won’t have to pay a cent in alimony! In fact, if there’s any justice in the world he’ll be the one getting alimony! And spending it all on hookers!”

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B/c if I wasn’t such a pussy, I’d still be down at the Mt. View post office, watching people interacting with the LaRouche supporter with the sign that has a picture of Obama that reads “We Changed” and has a little mustache drawn under Obama’s nose. As I was leaving a woman was walking up to him saying, “That’s so offensive, it’s not even funny! You should be ashamed!”

Are you kidding? It’s fucking hilarious! It’s Obama as the Little Tramp, just think about the crazy adventures the little guy would get into! Oh, wait, that’s supposed to be Hitler? Hilarious! Just think about the crazy adventures the little guy would get into!

Vote LaRouche

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My band, circumvolve, is having our second show in San Jose, CA at the Caravan Lounge, details on our myspace page. Here’s the poster:

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I’m not familiar with the American Apparel brand outside of the ads I occasionally see in website banners or bus stops, but does anyone know what they sell? I mean, the name sort of implies clothing, but the photography sort of implies snuff films. It’s always pictures of pasty-skinned, poorly lit models that, if they’re not in some yawning white void, seem to be in someone’s dingy basement. Sometimes they appear inexplicably damp even if they’re not modeling bathing suits, like they were just bukkaked and then simply decided to towel off and move on to the next project.

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New examiner article. Probably the last one. Get it while it’s hot.

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