The Madeofglass News Blog

Important news free of spin, bias, and factual content

PARIS HILTON WINS $225 MILLION POWERBALL LOTTERY
San Andreas, California - Hilton Hotel Heiress and film star Paris Hilton won Wednesday night's Powerball Lottery.

"Me and Nikki [Nicole Richie] just bought tickets on a lark, we never expected to win," said Ms. Hilton.

Powerball Lottery Commissioner Jeff Georgiano said, "I usually like to see the big prizes go to families who are more needy, but it's also kind of neat to meet a celebrity."

Ms. Hilton plans to take the lump sum, an estimated $98 million. She's made no comment about how she'll spend the money.

SENATORS REVIEW DESIGNS FOR GEORGE W. BUSH MEMORIAL
Washington, DC -
Though still in office, plans are being drawn up to honor this popular president after he's served his tenure.

Rep. Donald Sutherfly (R-AL) said, "We've received hundreds of bids for this, and we're excited to find something appropriate for the leader who brought the country together after the [Sept. 11] attacks."

None of the designs are available to the public at the time of this reporting.

DO RABBIS DREAM OF HASSIDIC SHEEP?
Ithaca, FL - A new study by the National Health Institution reveals that people are 78% more likely to dream of things that are familiar to them. The study was conducted with 7000 volunteers from around the country. Each participant was shown a series of everyday objects, then a series of fantasical objects and asked whether they'd dreamed of them and how likely they were to dream of them in the future.

Other findings in the study include:

-83% of professional ballplayers interviewed said they had dreamed about football or golf at least once.

Heterosexual men and women more likely to dream about heterosexual sex 3-to-1 over homosexuals, but that homosexual men were only 52% more likely to dream about homosexual sexual activity than heterosexual sex.

The researchers in charge of the study were reluctant to comment on the implications of this new information.