The NextGen's First Killer App
mike
::09 nov 2006 :: 12:06am
Cobra Commander's Battlefield Assistant
You play as Heinz, personal Battlefield Assistant™ to Cobra Commander himself. While the Commander is leading his diabolical forces to victory against the Joes, it's your job to make sure he's not distracted by the details. Over the course of 41 missions spread across 6 continents and 5 nightmare scenarios, including a breath-taking battle for Atlantis, you will:
-Dodge enemy fire
-Schedule meetings with key terrorist leaders
-Get the Commander's coffee
-Inform the Commander of important battlefield updates
-Shield the Commander from potentially damaging
scandals
-Handle critical intelligence communiques as well
as personal calls
-Pass the Commander's top advisor's best ideas off as
your own
-pilot up to 6 vehicles including courier bicycles,
segways, and the Commander's personal electric
executive kart
Coming 12.26.2006
Cobra Commander's Battlefield Assistant is part of the new Hasbro/Colecovision line of educational software designed to familiarize youngsters with the fast-paced world of a white-collar office.
Don't your children deserve a headstart?
i desperately want to serve cobra commander coffee. also, in the secretary's lounge/water cooler area/whatever the fuck is in offices i want to feel like a big man in front of destro and the baroness's secretary (you know they share).
Everyone knows Destro and the Baroness don't share a secretary, they share an office, and whenever the plants don't get watered, they blame each other.
they share an office, but not a secretary. i don't believe it. also, it's safe to assume tomax and xamot share a secretary. but i want to know how many secretaries does dr. mindbender have? i say one, but he has a legion of, let's say, graduate assistants, doing all his menial research and labor.
excluding mindbender's ta's/ra's, i say the rest of his staff is composed of b.a.t.s. the man invented them, for crying outloud. he would be a fool to not use them to staff his offices. and we all know mindbender is no man's fool.
tomax and xamot totally share a secretary. also, i believe theirs is a male. who must remind me of lloyd from entourage.
Destro & the Baroness share and office and they're lucky to have. Apart from Cobra Commander, they're the only ones with a door. The Terrordrome wasn't built with administrative needs in mind.
Tomax & Xamot don't share a secretary - they are secretaries. They work in HR.
The rest of Zanzibar's crew only have a single, cluttered desk in with the ohter cubes. It's piled to the ceiling with memos they're too busy following the NASCAR circuit to read.
Dr. Mindbender doesn't have access to the Cobra HQ secretarial pool, because his role at Cobra is limited to contract-basis consulting. He works full time at E.M. DeGrass Women's College where he does, indeed, have an army of TA's & RA's at his disposal. Even though he invented the B.A.T.S., he'd have to spend 8 days a week writing grants to fund them and it takes at least a platoon of grad students to maintain the one B.A.T. he does have. Sure, the consulting gig with Cobra may bring in a hefty fee but it mostly goes to student loans, which, as you can imagine, are nearing astronomical after 14 years earning his PhD in Mesmerist Lit. at an Ivy League school.