'you can not quit me this quickly'

i am sitting here in alone in my apartment at 9.19 on a friday night wondering if
i am getting old or simply more comfortable with myself. when i left the track after work around 6 this
evening, i contemplated the different ways i could spend the evening. i knew kim and cheri had been
wanting to hang out, but i didn't feel much like it. i briefly considered calling JB but decided against
it. and i realized i definitely wasn't ready, as much as i'd like to be, to go see 'planet of the apes' with tripp,
roxy, and whoever else was going. instead i decided that my ideal evening would be a quiet one at home.
i read my new "entertainment weekly" cover to cover - that's always been my friday afternoon routine anyway.
then i sat outside for a few hours, just watching the people on the street and my post-op
pooch on the balcony with me, reading, spacing out, and drinking warm grape soda straight from the
bottle. and it gave me a feeling of peace. i had no desire to rent a movie, to talk on the phone, to
get all slutted up, to go out somewhere, or even to surf the *two hundred* odd channels of our
newly acquired cable tv. i've always depended on things like that to fill my time, and it's
nice to feel as if none of it is necessarily…necessary. this is not to say i want to hermitize myself like some friends
and choose to sit in front of the computer or tv screen every night for the rest if my life. but i have spend tonight
enjoying the simplicity of not really doing much of anything, and doing it in solitude.

it is with great glee that
i can announce that yesterday i bought 2 tickets to the fatboy slim show at the 9.30 club in DC at the end of august.
i am obscenely excited. not only is the 9.30 my favorite club and not only am i enraptured by the his music, but the man himself falls very short of a
being of worship for me. damn. i've outgrown a lot of my previous groupie-esque qualities and feelings, but mr.
cook is definitely a weakspot. it's been at least 2 years since i was last able to see him live and since then my adoration
has only grown. i'm telling you, i'm dangerous (in a good way).

speaking of musical idolatry - michelle is in williamsburg
this evening and weekend for the last of her waitressing weekends at berret's and tonight she is going to the dave
matthews show in va beach. if anyone is groaning at that last bit, take a moment, won't you? i'm come to the conclusion of late that my disparagement of bands like them, like
sugar ray-ish bands and the like, is ridiculous. the very things i hoped to accomplish through my years in college radio
-diversity, acceptance and the like- are things i spit on by deploring some mainstream or otherwise popularly
classified music. to my roll my eyes as michelle implores me to listen to her new favorite DMB song is just as narrow-
minded as the majority of william and mary kids refusing to try WCWM or the stupid girls who always asked tripp to spin
"something that i know", or my personal favorite, "something with words". bollocks. i doubt that this will cause me to one
day don a smashmouth t-shirt, go to a phish show, or watch a destiny's child video on mtv for anything more than
fashion concern, but i say, bring it on. hit me baby, one more time…