'low ball'

i am a moron. i just X'ed out of the 5 paragraphs i had written so far, for no apparent reason. nothing kills the urge to write than having to rewrite something that inexplicably erased. but i feel as if i have been neglecting posts, so i will grit my teeth.

my slight hiatus has been due primarily to the fact that when i returned from spring break, my computer was completely fucked up. it was looping through the black background windows start screen. the time before this trip when i came home, there was an ant invasion in my house. living alone when i go to NY is looking like a better idea with each day.

i've tired of being the only responsible party in this house, of being forced into the part of mother - a role which i often take on myself and enjoy, but despise when forced upon me by those who have little concept of living in a non-filthy, copacetic household. yesterday i walked into our 'office' room where my computer is to find a used glass and a cereal bowl with an inch of milk still in it sitting on the counter next to my computer. i wonder if living in this sloth has got me scared straight; i have become a cleaning maniac (alas, everywhere except my bedroom).

my reality tv dependence is growing vast and scary. i cried when i watched 'america's top model' tonight and i can't stop staring at constantine on 'american idol', whom i find hideous (mostly in personality, a bit in looks and infinitely in stage presence) yet strangely compelling.

i have another sinus infection. antibiotics are my friend. no, wait. probiotic acidophilus in conjunction with antibiotics are my friend. probiotics are supplements you can take when on antibiotics to prevent yeast infections. you can also eat a lot of yogurt, but i have always been a big fan of pills, so i find it easier to pop one of these little yogurt-covered-raisin-looking bad boys to prevent the yeasty beastie. oh! that just made me rememeber that my friend's sister (anonymity to protected the poor thing) once was told to spoon original unflavored yogurt into her coochie to help with a yeast infection.

wow. what a mental picture, eh? that might be quite the yuckiest thing i can think of, and the more i consider it, possibly a cruel and illegal joke played on the girl by her physican. shudder.