'no right turn on red'

it's good to be back. back posting, back feeling like a human being again, back from basically having a nervous breakdown. i freaked my shit out big time when i got to new york, didn't eat for four days, and wound up in the emergency room at new york methodist hospital adamently repeating that no, i was not a danger to myself or anyone else. the hosp visit was the only way i could get my hands on some xanax, as i have no regular doctor capabilities until october 1 when my new NY insurance kicks in. the hospital experience was so bizarre that it will receive a post of its own at some later on point, but suffice it to say, those seven hours alone practically kicked me back into normalcy on their own. i've only taken the xanax twice and am actually functioning lime a normal human and not a nutty, crising lumb under my comforter.

before anyone wonders - i accidentally left gus's pills at my dad's house in fairfax and yes, if i had had them at my disposal here, i would have taken one. when you're at the point when it takes you three hours to get up the energy/balls/determination to set foot outside your apartment door, you'd probably consider it, too.

i am finally doing what i imagined myself doing on my first day here - exploring my new 'hood, taking gus to the park, starting to unpack. i'm taking it easy and not forcing myself to get everything done immediately, reading a lot and sleeping in and letting myself go with the flow, and it's a beautiful thing.