'the panic trick'

some of the anxiety i experienced when i first moved here returned over the past week. i'm not sure how to describe this kind of apprehension, what makes it different from everyday stress. it's this feeling in my stomach that tripp and i used to call 'the pit', where i feel just a couple steps from losing it. having actually lost it a bit when i moved now gives my anxiety another dimension - almost a meta-anxiety in which i stress about my stress getting to that point.

the social worker i have been seeing, who is nothing short of a godsend, made an interesting distinction to me a couple weeks ago that i keep thinking about. he explained the fact that depression is an all-around kind of an emotion where anxiety is more specific in that it is stress about what is to come. so now when i feel anxious i feel the need to try to pinpoint exactly what it is that i am anticipating. i'm having a hard time figuring out what exactly it is that i am afriad of.