'the trick is to keep breathing'

it's 10.25pm and i am in fairfax, multitasking. after a strartling hair dye mishap last night that resulted in me looking like a deranged eggplant, i am redying now. pleasepleaseplease look normal, i implore the dye-gods every few minutes.

i am also baking a pecan pie. i have never baked a pecan pie before, and don't think i really even like it, but the next door neighbor came by earlier today with a bag for my dad of at least five pounds of the suckers, so i have been hard at work in the kitchen this evening. pecan supreme cookies so far, and now the pie. it might get a little reminiscent of bubba gump up in here soon, as these two efforts have used only 2 cups of the nuts so far. anyone have any good pecan recipes?

i am trying really really hard not to use the phone. i'm in a tizzy about my NYE plans and not being able to get in contact. i have awful visions of myself alone in a hotel room in dc, wearing new underwear and crying into a bottle of champagne.

it's weird not having some of the comforts of my own apt, like cable or a DSL connection. and i inevitably make the mistake of not packing clothes but instead hauling my laundry with me thinking i will easily put together outfits from it once clean. somehow it never works out quite right though and i don't have the right combination of clothes to wear.

tomorrow i am having lunch with two of my mother's old colleagues. i like them both but somehow i have a little trepidation towards it, as well. it's unfounded. i like to talk about my mom and i like other people to talk about her but for some reason i am just not psyched for this. not that we're just gonna sit around doing that or anything. sara, one of the women, and the one who spoils me so thoproughly i almost feel embarassed, emailed me to say how she excited they are to hear all about my 'big apple adventures." i feel pressured to come up with some good stories.

the hair re-dye was not what i would call a rousing success. 92% of my hair is now "roasted chestnut." the other 8% is still stubbornly, awfully red-purple.

i would like very much to wake up in the morning and have my hair everything be beautiful.