'gotta bill in my mouth like i'm hillary rodham'

my monitor is on the fritz. i guess i should feel lucky it has lasted this long. it remains from my original computer that i got sophomore year of college and is ginormous and weighs about 152 pounds. at the moment, it turns itself off at whim and sometimes will not turn back on. lovely.

i'm so confused about my relationship with todd. for the first few weeks of january we talked on the phone every single day, usually for hours. it was crazily intense and in a way i am glad to be past that stage because it was really draining and dramatic. but it also provided the reassurance i seem to need on a daily basis. i dunno. it's like he's holding back because i am not in VA, and i need to know if i am ever going to consider coming back to VA that i am going back to something that's definitely there. it sucks for me to think if i was there, or he was here, things would be so different. so much easier.

and it's almost valentine's day and this is the closest i've come to having a valentine. i bought a shirt today that is funny and pink and valentiney looking and in pretty script next to a big shiny red heart it says, 'love hurts.'

i'm hibernating tonight - in for the evening after running around all day running errands surrounded by what felt like thousands of panicked brooklynites, scurrying around to get things done before this crazy predicted snowstorm hit. it's snowing now and has been for a few hours, and we're supposed to get up to 18 inches. i wonder if even that can cancel school.

i don't mind the night in though. i've had 'crash' from netflix for a week now and haven't gotten around to it, and am trying to wade my way through a few more oscar-comntenders before the awards in a couple weeks. but i am, of course, a sucker for the olympics (or as my sister said when she was little, "the limpings") so maybe i will spend the night watching skiing and skating and shaking my fist at nbc's tendency to jump back and forth between sports, forcing the audience to watch for hours if they ever hope to see one event conclude.