i attempted the hair touchup yesterday and there were disasterous orange results. these results resulted in me actually calling the 'clairol experts' listed on the dye box. the result of that was kind of crazily red hair. better, but by far not optimal. also, that sizzling sound you may be hearing is my scalp.

it's spring-motherfucking-break, dude. eleven blissful days away from work. i am sigh in contentment as i type those words.

so visits to my doctor over the past month have been freaking me out. first, there was this bump on my back that my OT doc found and wanted to have checked out. i can't even feel it, but you can't use the word 'lump,' i imagine, about anyone who knows someone with cancer without causing said person to freak out at least a little. the end result, three nervous weeks after the initial finding, was that this bump is harmless and that nothing needs to be done unless it changes.

the next step in medical weirdness was a sort of interoggation about a month ago by my regular doctor about my weight loss. i explained very thoroughly my WW stuff and what i eat every day and how much i am exercising. she went through a litany of questions pretty obviously designed to determine whether i had an eating disorder.

i guess i was convincing enough as a non-ana, she quickly segued into dramatic weight loss as a symptom of thyroid disorders. she ordered a bunch of bloodwork and scared me pretty well; i dutifully trotted off to the lab to be poked and prodded. i sweated through two weeks and returned to her office to be told the thyroid tests came out clear.

briefly thinking that was that, i figured that was the end of things and perhaps now she would accept my explanation of WW diligence. however, my zealous doc had other ideas and i plodded back to the lab yesterday to be vampired some more. the thing i don't like is that she didn't tell me this time around what the tests were for, and when i asked, she was vague about 'just wanting to rule some things out.'

i don't know that i completely buy into my doctor. i chose those words carefully, wordslut that i am. initially i was going to say that i didn't trust her, but that's not really it.

while i completely understand and appreciate thoroughness, enough is fucking 'nough. my weight loss has been really successful but it's what i have bee trying to do. before january it was a good day when i ate a vegetable or took gussie on more than a piddling walk twice a week. i eat my 5 fruits and veggies now, avoid the shitty stuff i used to stuff into my face without thought, and get antsy when it's been a whole day since i got in some good quality physical activity. i feel like this explanation should be enough to make the doc-lady chill. i worry too god damn much on my own, mostly unnecessarily, to start freaking out about mystery illnesses i don't actually have.

and yes, i know to an extent i must sound like an ungrateful and possibly ignorant brat.