horrible, horrible dreams last night. usually i love, cherish ones with my mom in them, but this was just not good. i want to cry thinking about it.

i’m feeling overwhelmed with my video gig with BTL. been working hard to get all my episode planners together but done 5/17 so far… i used to snort at those people who schlep their things to coffeehouses to work but now i am one of those people. i find way, way too many things to occupy my time at home. it’s fantastic for productivity but i can’t resist continual coffee guzzling and i can feel a bilious, neon green hole beginning to burn its way through my stomach lining.

i’m not so much a self-doubter but doing video production in a week is pulling the rug out from under my confidence and can-do attitude. what if i totally can’t do this, if i completely blow? auggggggh.