‘why not me?’

remember how i used to write about september 11, worrying that people were forgetting, that it was becoming just another day?  i still feel that way, but worry that i, too, with time, am feeling as though my emotion is… lessening.  i’m ashamed of myself.

i had a horrible panic seize my heart last night when trying to talk to zane about what 9/11 was – i couldn’t remember the year of the attacks.  i know it’s a simple detail but it seemed so … disrespectful.  like i couldn’t be troubled to remember exactly when it happened.  i feel guilty and worry that with more time the anniversary will really become just another day.  how horrible.  i feel awful – that i am awful.