stomach in knots, but for which reasons?  i have no idea what it is that i want, and it changes every few hours.  my integrity is questionable.  the things that i crave and pursue no longer interest me when they are too available.

frustrated with my endless ability to undermine myself.

my birthday is tomorrow and it’s making me sad.  miss my mom.  big surprise, right?  story of my life.  but it’s a day i should share with her.  it’s a day i did share with her – it’s in the definition of the day itself, no?

and everything ties together, no matter how much i wish it didn’t.

where are you?