madeofglass.com

a collection of reflections by people i have known

by roxy

Want to know what elvis and RATM have in common? They’re forming the soundtrack to my finals week.

its a long pattern going back- academic stress time = coming up with a soundtrack focusing on only one or two artists. when it gets real bad is when instead of one or two artists its one or two songs (like the “ice ice baby” and “land down under” phase while writing the infamous poet paper back in high school. that was a disaster). i wonder if everyone does this.

This term has gone by disgustingly quickly. that same old thing is happening, where i feel like i haven’t learned much until i stop and think about it. i feel like i’ve had more opportunities for personal projects on topics of my choice this round of classes, which has been fun- except that i pick kind of depressing topics.

anyway, this is neither sleep nor work, which was the point when i started writing but i must go do one or the other or i’ll kick myself tomorrow.

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by roxy

this morning i was dreaming about an integrated health delivery system. the dream moved on to prescription drugs, the delivery of which was all automated. you could take all of your medications at the same time, they were bundled automatically for you and you were notified when you had to take it– in order to administer it you just had to press a button after you heard the beep.

that button was the snooze on my alarm clock, and by the time i was done dream medicating myself i had a half hour to get ready and out the door.

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by roxy

i was all set to cook (er, does heating up a frozen meal count as cooking?) for the first time in this apartment and realized i don’t have any hot mits. at least i realized it before putting the food in the oven!

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by roxy

there is a weird sound coming from upstairs. its somewhere between man-peeing and an airplane.

so. new city, new apartment. no best friend to share it with. those first two things aren’t bad. that last one really stinks, especially since from what i’ve seen so far, he’d like it. my day has reminded me a bit of when we first started dating, and everything i saw i evaluated from my own perspective, then thought about what he might think.

the city really has been pretty idyllic. i didn’t get hassled at all walking around. the sun was shining. i put some good things out there- telling a professorial gentleman that his headphones were dragging out of his pocket and on the ground, offering (and following through with) taking a picture for a woman, a self portrait of her on a bench with flowers in the background. i was stopped by random strangers who asked if they could help me find anything when it was clear i was looking at address numbers. everyone i interacted with was friendly. even the cable installer guys were super nice. yesterday a random girl walking by held the apartment door open for me while i hauled in my bags.

i found a bed. there will be only two nights of floor bed. my internet is working. my phone will be when i go out and buy one. i have food in my fridge and freezer. things are coming together.

tears keep coming out of nowhere, but not for very long at a time- and this is the worst it should be, i hope. i hate adjusting to changes, but i’m here, and i’d better make the most of it.

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by roxy

I have a problem. I think I need to quit.

I’ve been listening to conservative talk radio.

Every time I turn it on, I feel my blood pressure escalate. It isn’t that the people speaking have different ideas than me- that I can deal with. In fact, there are occasional ideas I agree with. Its the system of spouting baseless opinion, sometimes straight out lies, as if they are facts. If Tom DeLay says Obama is a Marxist, well then, that’s all the proof that’s required, it must be true! Its a wonder my ears haven’t blown off my head yet listening to this crap.

It started out of innocent curiosity. I think it is important to be well informed, and sometimes folks come up with notions so preposterous that my shock doesn’t evaporate in time to respond quickly. Occasionally I wonder if there is news that I’m missing exposing myself to purely self selected media sources. I had the notion that if I was familiar with the ideas circulating, I could do my own research as necessary to get informed, develop opinions, and shorten my response time. The problem is that no facts are presented. And how does one counter straight out lies, when people believe them? Ideas come crawling out of the muck and are perpetuated until they bleed over into mainstream media. They gain the validity of ideas that are born out of fact, and are treated with the same measure of possibility.

Eventually the pressure builds until I need to turn off the radio, turn on some good rock music, and let guitars and growly bass worm their way into my stomach and replace the rage there with something more easily dissipated.

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by roxy

inspired by a recipe from january’s gourmet magazine ( eggs with cream, spinach and country ham) i decided to make up a healthy, vegetarian recipe that was along the same lines.

ingredients:
quinoa cooked in vegetable broth
rainbow chard sauteed with a dash of olive oil, garlic powder, lemon pepper and black pepper
parmesan
milk
eggs
hollandaise

in 4 ramekins put a thin layer of quinoa, then a thick layer of chard, well packed, leaving a slight indentation in the center of each dish. drizzle a tablespoon of milk in, grate on some parmesan cheese, then crack on egg in each dish and bake at 375 until the egg white is fully cooked. top with a spoonful of hollandaise.

deelish.
what made this especially tasty were the super expensive super high quality eggs. i might be sold on them.

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by roxy

i’m back in portland. i was here a month ago for my mom’s first cataract surgery, and today they did the other eye.

life has been a bit stressful as of late. the need for a decision about grad school looms.

i know i’ll make the right choice about where to go. i just don’t know what that’ll be yet. i just hope my gut, heart and brain all line up once i have all the options in front of me. i’d done so well with enjoying the present without wanting to hit fast forward or worrying about the future. not so at the moment.

sigh. i am grateful i have options. very grateful. and they’re good ones. at least there is that.

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