seems i never get enough of me

time keep passing here in portland and i'm starting to completely lose track of the days.

sequoia got into town yesterday. i'm going to have lunch with her and her matt which should be nice. i haven't met him before, and i haven't seen sequoia in ages. ages!

unfortunately seq is only in town until monday, and this leaves me not much visiting time because…uncle jon is indeed coming to visit, but only for the weekend. i'm excited to see him, its been quite a while.

i've kept up with my reading. i finished salt dancers by ursula hegi, and really liked it. not the happiest subject matter, but she makes characters so real and human. immediately after finishing i dove into trickster's queen, by one of my favorite children's authors, tamora pierce. it is a sequel and i'd waited and waited for it to come out, and then decided i couldn't spend the money on it. it was a graduation present from my mother instead, purchased on a powell's trip. i've been splurging on books. more accurately, i sold a lot of books back to powells and spent a lot of the store credit. selling books does not come naturally to me. i sold ones from school that i either didn't like, were redundancies in my collection because i had other, better books on the same topic, or that i knew i would never look at again. it was still difficult though. while there is the rare book i really despise and can't stand having around, most i want to hang on to. it struck home that selling books isn't all bad when i sold back some textbooks that i didn't learn anything from at the end of the semester and got back enough money to fund me for the next couple of weeks.

its been so nice to see my grammy doris so frequently– i've seen her every day since i've been in portland other than yesterday and today. still, its pushed home the message that she's really gotten more fragile. i'm hoping that once she's fully recovered from her fall and the bruises will gone she'll improve, but i think i'm being unrealistic. we'll see though, i'm sure my uncle visiting will perk her up. she said she wanted to go to the zoo while he's here. what an outing that would be. while i really don't like zoos, the portland one is quite nice and i love to see the animals.

falling into a post graduation lazy pattern felt somewhat natural. i've had summer vacations for so long that it made sense to let my brain stop steaming. i'm starting to feel a little itchy to move on with things though. i know a lot of it is anxiety about getting a job. the longer its taking for other people to find one, the more my brain is focusing on how it might take me that long as well, and i'll be starting even later in the game. i'm not quite sure whether this concern is legitimate, or just me slipping into the old pattern of anxiety and wanting to move faster faster faster through things. it isn't taking over, i'm still very much enjoying the slower pace, but its creeping up on me.