follow it gladly

i wrote this yesterday

very often i feel like i haven't grown up at all over my life. then, i reflect, and realize that that isn't true.

on the way to work today i developed a partial hypothesis as to why i tend to think that i haven't changed. we were driving down wilshire and a group of young school children was walking by, straggling along the sidewalk, holding hands in a sloppy version of the buddy system with a few adults supervising. the kiddies were wearing uniforms– many of the girls had on little checkered dresses, and the rest of the kids had on white shirts and navy blue pants or shorts. i was reminded of back at the start of the 3rd grade when i wore a uniform.

instantly those special emotions that hark back to all the times i was in school and unhappy welled up in my throat. here i am, 23, not in school, feeling like i did when i was 8. i may have grown up over the years– i know that i have– but there's always been a level of emotional constancy. perhaps thats why nostalgia is so effective, and snapdragons make me feel light and carefree like i'm a kid and its summer and i'm on the farm.

my thoughts weren't that profound, but i was stunned to realize how easily i can feel like an 8 year old.