as if i didn't know that

i'm a little bummed/peeved. i went to look up some essays i wrote a couple years ago, and they're gone. poof. i wrote them before my hard drive died and after i had backed things up. i was certain i at least had some paper copies. nope. i can imagine myself right now, packing up to move out of claremont, and efficiently putting them all into a 'shred' pile with a sense of great satisfaction. gr- irritating! good news is that even without reviewing them for inspiration/focus i think i just created a first draft of something which may not be utter crap. we'll see. things always look different in daylight. maybe it will be good though- i have a feeling tomorrow will be a great day.