you know, i usually believe i've seen it all. or at least more than i should have. but until today, i'd never seen a cow mounting a person.

i am such a cheesehead. christian the lion makes me cry and cry and cry.

Woman riding a donkey fights off lion with machete

You don't really need more information, do you? That is 100 kinds of awesome.

i've got 15 episode planners done, with just 2 to go.  i completely underestimated what an incredible amount of work this video gig was going to be.  i probably put, on average, about 4 hours into each episode planner, some of which still need powerpoints for my visual aides.  it's hard for me to be satisifed with the PPTs; i haven't made one in probably 5 years, having moved to the smartNotebook software designed for my smartBoard at school.  i'm such an overachiever that it slays me to simply have to accept the idea that i don't have the luxury of time to really make my visuals what i would like them to be.

i'd hoped to have finished all my outlines a week out from production to have seven days to practice, but my my flight leaves sunday and i'm so not there yet.  i'm rationalizing this, feeling unprepared in terms of practice, by trying to convincing myself that there's less chance of my sounding creepily rehearsed - they're all about natural, conversational style.

before sunday, i also have to do a bunch of appearance-oriented stuff (hair, nails*, etc), pack a million different outfits, finalize and pack a list of props, and maybe do some audio of my lessons so i can listen to them during my travel time.  and of course rather than doing any of this write now i am typing and waiting for the perfect time to shoot video of diesel sneaking up behind gus and air-humping him.  it's pretty god-damn funny, especially as D humps once every like 6 months and today he is ALL about it.

my gay dogs

*  one very nice part of all this pressure is that upon returning from my first trip to SF i firmly decided that raggedy ass chewed nails were one part of my appearance i could fix in 3 weeks.  so i bought yucky-tasting polish stuff and forced myself to be aware of when i bite, and -viola- decent-looking fingers.  at least i have that under control.

I've had all these tabs open for days and days. Training kept me too busy/tired to post. But here are some things to help make Tuesday morning more interesting:

• Five poetic phrases culled from Joe McConnell’s Bay Area radio traffic report, from 5ives. this is funny because we always hear the traffic report by Joe McConnell on the way to the CalTrain station every morning. Oh, NPR.
• how many sequels? Given my self-proclaimed expertise in bad horror, I did shockingly poorly on this. 4/10. ouch.
• A series of photos capturing, for the first time clearly, an egg ovulating. Did you think I wouldn't post this?
• A follow-up on the bees. Short answer? They are still disappearing. And no one knows why still. Terrifying.
• Finally, an interview with Douglas Hofstadter, after the publication of "I am a Strange Loop". He wrote GEB and edited The Mind's I, which might be one of the best books I have ever read. I've been cranking on it for a year, haven't finished and love it more than I can admit.

Hate to do this, but don't have time for proper posts — plus, I'm not sure any of these warrent a whole post themselves.

• Because I clearly am on some kind of weird sex kick, here's a story about how giant squid mate. Hint: super long penises that can sometimes cause males to impregnate themselves. Luckily, I am not a giant squid.
• Chrispy's new girlfriend. In his dreams. According to email he sent me yesterday. But then, who doesn't love a pantless drunk driver?
• The LAT might have been duped about Puffy being involved with Tupac's murder. Oops?
• Giant bunny!
• And the Frontline that everyone is talking about today — Bush's war.

I hate to depress you right before a 3 day weekend, but this is some serious shit. mightgodking has been following it and I have been reading it all and I am scared shitless from it all. This is all related and all truly and completely awful.

A primeval tide of toxins

Dead zones off Oregon and Washington likely tied to global warming, study says

Killer jellyfish population explosion warning