Stress is an interesting thing. It affects the mind in unbelievable ways. I've been having two-part dreams lately. Most of the time I don't remember what I dream about, but when I do, it's usually in two parts. Like I'm acting out some kind of play. My dreams lately have been vivid and cryptic.
Even if I don't remember the events in the dream, what I did, or who was with me, the feelings from the dreams linger for days. I'll often wake up angry or afraid. Or feeling suffocated, as though I've been holding my breath underwater for hours.
Maybe it's because I've been seeing a shrink. Maybe it's because I've been rethinking my life and am pushing myself in new directions. I'm challenging beliefs drilled into me since I was born, and those aren't easy to question. Though, at this point in my life, they should be. There are certain times when it's necessary to reinvent ones self, and this is where I am.
A few days ago, I had another one of those two-part dreams. But what made this dream special was that I woke up feeling powerful. It was the first dream I can remember ever having in which I took control of the sequence of events, and wrote my way to my own conclusion.
In every dream I can remember I played the part of the observer, or worse, the victim. I was reacting to events unfolding around me. There have been dreams in which I've fought, but I never won.
I woke from this last dream feeling power over my world. I immediately grabbed my woman and made love to her. I hadn't felt anything like it before, and the feeling hasn't gone away.
THE DREAM
Part One: Fighting my way through hell has made my spirit stronger.
I'm locked in the lobby of an enormous office tower. The air is cold and heavy. There are no windows and the walls are black marble. The ceiling is so high and it is so dark that I can't see how far up it goes. I am completely alone.
I see an elevator door made of polished black steel. It opens and I step inside. I press the only button and a tiny point of amber light glows from the center. The steel walls are polished like mirrors, but I can't see my reflection. A dim fluorescent light spills out from behind the tops of the walls and is the only light.
The doors close and it's completely silent. The elevator rises.
The only sounds are the bell chimes as I pass each floor. They're clear and pure like a meditation. The elevator rises faster as it gets higher. Thousands of bell chimes sound, each one sounding closer to the next as the elevator moves closer to the top. The speed of the ascent pulls my body to the floor. Hours pass and I feel myself grow dizzy at the realization of how high I must be. The floor shakes and the last bell sounds.
The doors open.
I step out into an enormous intestine. As my eyes grow accustomed to my fleshy surroundings, Tiny eyes begin to glow as they peer and chatter at me from the darkness of the flaps and folds in the pink-gray walls. The eyes follow me as I walk through the tube, and my feet slosh through viscous fluid oozing and dripping from every crevice. It winds and splits like a maze, but my instincts tell me which direction to take. I am not worried as I trudge for miles through the goo.
Then a massive black stone door blocks my path. As I approach, I tell it to open. The door opens and I am gripped by a vacuum that pulls me toward the threshold. I stare out into space. The stars are bright and huge. It is cold, and I am sucked into the void, but I am not afraid. I gain a foothold on a passing asteroid.
As I gaze into the nothingness around me, a villain approaches me. It is riding on top of a small asteroid. His black steel suit is demonic, and he points at me because he is ready to fight. His movements are fluidly robotic as he picks up a large rock to hurl at me. I had only one thought…
There is no way this can be real. I should be somewhere else instead of breathing in space. This fight is over and I win because I do not believe in you.
And I am somewhere else.
Part Two: Everyone is now a guest in my reality, and they'd better fucking show some respect.
I am in the lobby of an elegant hotel. The walls are white marble, and grand white fountains splash cool water from the mouths of cherubs into crystal pools. Ferns and assorted exotic green plants everywhere are luscious and flowering in vivid colors. The perfect California day shines in through high windows. People are busy everywhere.
And I am butt naked.
As I walk through the lobby toward the courtyard outside, porters and bellhops spot me and jump to attention.
"Good to see you again, sir. May I get you a robe? How about your favorite drink? I trust you had a pleasant trip. Did you find any treasure?"
"I am ready for a swim," I tell them, and walk down the white steps and outside into the courtyard.
Outside, there are four swimming pools stacked next to each other in a square. They are crystal clear. The hotel guests watch as I stroll to the edge of the first and dive in. It is a flawless dive. I swim to the other side, get out, and dive into the second. I swim to the other side, swimming through the third and fourth pools, until I am back where I started. I feel refreshed and confident.
From the pools I walk, naked and dripping wet, up a flight of marble steps to an area where people are enjoying breakfast at tables with large green umbrellas. My wife and her boyfriend are there. I sit down in an empty seat at their table. She is eating eggs and juice, and he is having thick slices of toast cut into triangles. I pick up one of his slices of toast and take a big bite out of the middle, tossing the rest back onto his plate.
They stares at me with wonder and fear as I stand up without a word and walk away.
design drives marketing. not the other way around.
girls talk. blah blah blah. boys talk. blah blah blah. in the end, it all comes down to sex.
