sarah silverman is fucking matt damon. and it really makes me laugh.

i've been silenced for a few days posting as i worked through the feelings i had about heath ledger's death. tuesday, when it happened, i had what i felt like a really personal reaction. then i spent wednesday and thursday berating myself for that.

he was, of course, my favorite actor. my infatuation with him -and even his family- is long known. i can't deny the countless times i walked gus past his house in brooklyn, hoping to catch a sight of him. it's a little embarassing, yes.

i think that real-life connection -hi, i'm admiring what you guys are doing to your backyard, hannah just saw you at fairway again- is what knocked the wind out of me so badly.

we all gape at celebrity and as a society can't seem to resist that car crash mentality of wanting to see what's going on. it's not something to be proud of, but i'd be a liar to deny i wasn't a part of it.

i'm torn between not wanting to hear anything about this tragedy and letting it absolutely consume me in the quest to know everything. i wish i could turn that off, be a bigger and BETTER person.

my heart aches for his little girl, his family, michelle williams. but i have no idea of the life any of them, the true lives, that is. so it doesn't even seem right - seems intrusive, presumptuous - to think that i do care. what right do i have?

this isn't about me.

roxy just told me that he was found in his apartment this afternoon. tmz has it, though I imagine it'll be everywhere soon.

Sadly, from what I've seen, he made an excellent Joker. I'm really sad because of this. It will certainly make the movie more somber.

Some happy links on a Thursday:

Australian Kid Isn't Sorry About Huge Party. At first, I thought this was an Onion article. But it isn't. It's a new report. A real one. And it's awesome, especially at the end. And I'm not taking my glasses off. They're famous.

Britain denies releasing badgers in Iraq. "We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river."

Diane Keaton saying "fuck" on Good Morning America: ""Those lips, I love them. I would like to have lips like that. Then I wouldn't have worked on my f**king personality. Excuse me, my personality. If I had lips like yours, I'd be better off. My life would be better. I would be married. I have these thin lips."

And AT&T "is seriously considering plans to examine all the traffic it carries for potential violations of U.S. intellectual property laws." It's only a matter of time before this happens, isn't it? That or we have to reform copyright law immediately. And even that might not stop this type of madness.

my celebrity gossip habit is OOC. every day, as my treat and wind-down after work before todd and zane come home, i read, in order, the superficial, perez, tmz, and X17. seriously!

i suppose it's a better vice than the booze i used to guzzle or the boys i used to…chase, but it's probably just about as unhealthy. do i really need to speculate on celebrity pregnancy, check out nips slips, watch clips of C-listers getting denied at hyde, view pictures of britney in a public gas station/behind the wheel/at starbucks?

the answer, of course, is yes.

i try to keep my postings on this side of appropriate, but i have something to share of questionable taste. please, let's not make a fuss out of this.

1. a couple of weeks ago, i came across the best craigslist ad ever. ever. it came through a delicious link in my feed reader, before you go asking what i was doing browsing the houston casual encounters. this post was so good, i emailed the link out to a bunch of people.

but it wasn't enough. it became a huge topic of conversation among most of my friends and i had to go back and save the posting out to a pdf to ensure i had it in the future.

and now, i will share it with you. seriously. best ever. but it is a a bit graphic and def not safe for work. so tread carefully. i'm looking for a jo bud with a twist (m4m) [pdf].

2. you read that yet? your mind blown? ok, so kurt doesn't think this is real. john and i think it's about as real as it gets. either way, it's mind blowing.

but then last night in the car with mike, john, kurt, roxy and i, heading into the city, a new topic was born:

could you
a. j.o to helen hunt?
b. on 'mad about you'?
c. watching it on tv?
d. when any of the golden girls walk in?
e. in person, not into the scene on tv?
f. and would you stop after they made their entrance?

we were in tears, laughing so hard.

yes, we are a tasteless bunch.

but seriously — j.o.ing into a tornado? man, that is rad.
but no gay stuff.

it's halloween.

so spooky halloween to you! i point you to this discobelle post of fun halloween music. i am currently rocking out to the halloween mix*. loudly, as i am the only one in the office right now.

(* track 15 on this mix: The Bulgarian (ft. Spoek) - The Zombie Door (Vox version) turns out to be rather filthy. the chorus seems to be 'jack it like a zombie' repeated. just letting you know so you don't, say, for instance, blast it in your place of work for everyone to hear.)

due to a miscommunication of sorts, half the team is working in san jose today, with two of us up here in the city. not a big deal, but annoying, as i had to buy a train ticket to get up here. goodbye 11 dollars it turns out i didn't need to spend.

also, mike sent me a list from the av club of bad horror movie villians. shockingly, i have not seen most of these films. more shockingly, mike claims to have. and triply shocking — morty, from 'the fear', jack frost (the evil snowman) from 'jack frost', or the gingerbread man from 'the gingerdead man' are not represented. i might have to call sheningans on the article now.

also, i need to tell you the taglines for 'jack frost': "He's chillin…and killin"
and for 'the gingerdead man': "Out of the oven… and into your heart!"
wow.

and i am in a funk. for a multitude of reasons.

but this morning, walking into the office, i passed an older, bald man with horns attached. i, myself, am wearing my old devil 'headband' which is an easy, lazy, pretend costume. but it was great fun to pass someone else in the street who had dressed up the same way. we said hello to each other and it made me smile a lot.

that made the trip up here worthwhile, i would say.

in other news, robert goulet died. this is not huge news and, sadly, i remember him most for his excellent emerald nuts ad last superbowl.

and if we want to really cheapen his memory, how about will ferrell impersonating him singing the thong song?