my celebrity gossip habit is OOC. every day, as my treat and wind-down after work before todd and zane come home, i read, in order, the superficial, perez, tmz, and X17. seriously!

i suppose it's a better vice than the booze i used to guzzle or the boys i used to…chase, but it's probably just about as unhealthy. do i really need to speculate on celebrity pregnancy, check out nips slips, watch clips of C-listers getting denied at hyde, view pictures of britney in a public gas station/behind the wheel/at starbucks?

the answer, of course, is yes.

i try to keep my postings on this side of appropriate, but i have something to share of questionable taste. please, let's not make a fuss out of this.

1. a couple of weeks ago, i came across the best craigslist ad ever. ever. it came through a delicious link in my feed reader, before you go asking what i was doing browsing the houston casual encounters. this post was so good, i emailed the link out to a bunch of people.

but it wasn't enough. it became a huge topic of conversation among most of my friends and i had to go back and save the posting out to a pdf to ensure i had it in the future.

and now, i will share it with you. seriously. best ever. but it is a a bit graphic and def not safe for work. so tread carefully. i'm looking for a jo bud with a twist (m4m) [pdf].

2. you read that yet? your mind blown? ok, so kurt doesn't think this is real. john and i think it's about as real as it gets. either way, it's mind blowing.

but then last night in the car with mike, john, kurt, roxy and i, heading into the city, a new topic was born:

could you
a. j.o to helen hunt?
b. on 'mad about you'?
c. watching it on tv?
d. when any of the golden girls walk in?
e. in person, not into the scene on tv?
f. and would you stop after they made their entrance?

we were in tears, laughing so hard.

yes, we are a tasteless bunch.

but seriously — j.o.ing into a tornado? man, that is rad.
but no gay stuff.

it's halloween.

so spooky halloween to you! i point you to this discobelle post of fun halloween music. i am currently rocking out to the halloween mix*. loudly, as i am the only one in the office right now.

(* track 15 on this mix: The Bulgarian (ft. Spoek) - The Zombie Door (Vox version) turns out to be rather filthy. the chorus seems to be 'jack it like a zombie' repeated. just letting you know so you don't, say, for instance, blast it in your place of work for everyone to hear.)

due to a miscommunication of sorts, half the team is working in san jose today, with two of us up here in the city. not a big deal, but annoying, as i had to buy a train ticket to get up here. goodbye 11 dollars it turns out i didn't need to spend.

also, mike sent me a list from the av club of bad horror movie villians. shockingly, i have not seen most of these films. more shockingly, mike claims to have. and triply shocking — morty, from 'the fear', jack frost (the evil snowman) from 'jack frost', or the gingerbread man from 'the gingerdead man' are not represented. i might have to call sheningans on the article now.

also, i need to tell you the taglines for 'jack frost': "He's chillin…and killin"
and for 'the gingerdead man': "Out of the oven… and into your heart!"
wow.

and i am in a funk. for a multitude of reasons.

but this morning, walking into the office, i passed an older, bald man with horns attached. i, myself, am wearing my old devil 'headband' which is an easy, lazy, pretend costume. but it was great fun to pass someone else in the street who had dressed up the same way. we said hello to each other and it made me smile a lot.

that made the trip up here worthwhile, i would say.

in other news, robert goulet died. this is not huge news and, sadly, i remember him most for his excellent emerald nuts ad last superbowl.

and if we want to really cheapen his memory, how about will ferrell impersonating him singing the thong song?

one of the local radio stations here is promoting a "whatever weekend" in which they deviate from their normal pop format and play some random shit.   it was wonderful to hear "welcome to the jungle" and "good vibrations" (marky mark, not the beach boys) back-to-back today, and made me consider how much passion i have for both of those songs.  i have G-n-R, of course, in my iTunes, but just sat down to download good old marky mark and am quite peeved to learn that the song is only available if ipurchase the entire soundtrack to "blades of glory."  not only do i refuse to support this capitalistic dick-move by the record company (or whoever), but i also refuse to further support a film that was really not very good, esp for will ferrell.

zane is with his other grandparents this weekend but todd's parents have been here, which is like at least the 4th visit we've had since we have been in the new house.  i'd be lying if i said this wasn't a bit of a strain at this point, but that makes me feel like a superbitch because essentially they come here and bust ass helping with house and yard endeavors.  they are energetic project people, and this weekend painted and rescreened our entire back porch.  i am not ungrateful …  just a little tired.

as i sat in the garage this afternoon staining our kitchen chairs and listening to "back to black," i started to get really sad about amy winehouse.  this seems a little silly as we are not personally acquainted, but you can't be celebrity-obsessed as i am without being constantly exposed to tales of her very fucked up lifestyle.   i don't care too much if people do drugs if it doesn't mess up their lives or someone else's, but it seems -and i emphasize seems, as everything i base this on comes second-hand at the very least- as if things have crossed that line with ms. winehouse.  the latest detail and probably the one to instill in me this sadness was a report about her bloody-vomit-covered hotel room.

i so hope i am wrong, but after hearing of her recent ODs, smoking crack at music festivals, and self-mutilation, i keep feeling as if her days are numbered.   i keep thinking i'm going to log on TMZ or perez and hear that she's dead, frankly.   "back to black" is so amazing and so different than any other music that's come out in ages.  and i worry that it and "frank" will stand as winehouse's sole musical contributions to the world because she won't be around to create anymore.

do i sound like a complete psycho???   i don't feel as though i am expressing myself very well.

q: how amused am i to learn that bai ling is actually in palo alto right now?

a: way more than i have any right to be.

patrick dempsey, paris hilton, and goldberg are going to be in little ole staunton monday night. no shit!

i wish i could be cool enough to say i didn't care and not be feverishly making sure my path crosses some celebrity itinerary, but i am so not.

of particular mirth to me is the inclusion of staunton as "ONE OF THE PARTY CAPITALS OF AMERICA."  holla.

Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot

i feel dirty posting this, but seriously:

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

how can anyone take anything he does at this point seriously?