what if for the first 25 years of your life you were blind. lets say you were born blind, grew up that way, were accustomed to not being able to see anything but complete darkness and maybe some blurry shades of light here and there. lets also say that you got married. and your relationship with your significant other was built on personality alone. what sensual, erotic things would you experience with your lover? your knowledge of that person would be on touch, taste, smell, hearing alone. you would never had ever seen them. you would have felt their face, but you would never know color their eyes or hair was.
now, lets say that one day you go into surgery and have new eyes put in. now you can see for the first time. you are for the first time in your life being given a new sense with which to judge how you feel about different aspects of your life. do you think that your perspective on that person might change after seeing them for the first time? or would that be completely shallow and superficial. most people would probably say yes, of course, that would be shallow and superficial. but what if, you see the person for the first time ever that you've spent the last 20 years with, and they are so god awful ugly that you cannot stand to look at them one minute longer? what would you do?

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PARIS HILTON WINS $225 MILLION POWERBALL LOTTERY
San Andreas, California - Hilton Hotel Heiress and film star Paris Hilton won Wednesday night's Powerball Lottery.

"Me and Nikki [Nicole Richie] just bought tickets on a lark, we never expected to win," said Ms. Hilton.

Powerball Lottery Commissioner Jeff Georgiano said, "I usually like to see the big prizes go to families who are more needy, but it's also kind of neat to meet a celebrity."

Ms. Hilton plans to take the lump sum, an estimated $98 million. She's made no comment about how she'll spend the money.

SENATORS REVIEW DESIGNS FOR GEORGE W. BUSH MEMORIAL
Washington, DC -
Though still in office, plans are being drawn up to honor this popular president after he's served his tenure.

Rep. Donald Sutherfly (R-AL) said, "We've received hundreds of bids for this, and we're excited to find something appropriate for the leader who brought the country together after the [Sept. 11] attacks."

None of the designs are available to the public at the time of this reporting.

DO RABBIS DREAM OF HASSIDIC SHEEP?
Ithaca, FL - A new study by the National Health Institution reveals that people are 78% more likely to dream of things that are familiar to them. The study was conducted with 7000 volunteers from around the country. Each participant was shown a series of everyday objects, then a series of fantasical objects and asked whether they'd dreamed of them and how likely they were to dream of them in the future.

Other findings in the study include:

-83% of professional ballplayers interviewed said they had dreamed about football or golf at least once.

Heterosexual men and women more likely to dream about heterosexual sex 3-to-1 over homosexuals, but that homosexual men were only 52% more likely to dream about homosexual sexual activity than heterosexual sex.

The researchers in charge of the study were reluctant to comment on the implications of this new information.