todd and i are … strained right now.  it's really kind of awful and i have a perpetual pit in my stomach, even here, at the beach, on vacation.  the week i was in SF, his grandmother died.  she'd been pretty sick the week and a half before i left and i debated not going.  he wouldn't hear of it.  as a result, i wasn't around during what was a really tough time, and i feel bad.  i also think he begrudges me being gone, even though he said there was no way i should stay.  i don't feel like we are communicating very well and at the beach with parents and a kid and dogs around isn't the best place for big talks.  

i really need things to balance back out.

the first phase of my oral surgery extravaganza is over. i am infinitely pleased that i feel as though i took control of my highly irrational fear with the help of only half a xanax and my iPod. i was so happy when i walked out emotionally unscarred that i yearned for one of the ribbons my students get to wear when they do something exciting like lose a tooth at school. hopefully i will be singing the same happy tune tomorrow after phase II.

i am going to document my happy little herb garden-to-be because i am so dippliy content with the notion of becoming an herb-growing dork. i have planted tomatoes, chives, green onion, mint, cilantro, and tomatoes. oh, and black-eyed susans for some color. here is day #1 - not much to see yet.

because this is not an entirely exciting picture, i will supplement my submission with this far more rocking one of quinn and wendy's son, noah:

the force is strong with this one.