We all thought it would end. Fake or not, we didn’t think this would evolve into some kind of weird, horrible meme. And then John came over with fake crab meat yesterday and somehow, we found this ad:

Group JO; not gay though! – m4m
[pdf version]

So yeah, I guess I am collecting these now. Tornadoes, model trains, now model planes. What’s next? Who has seen a good JO buddy ad on Craigslist with a twist?

Oh yeah and happy Monday.

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NSFW.

I couldnt make this shit up if I tried. As if jo-ing into a tornado wasn’t enough, now we have model trains:

jo on rails [pdf]

You like this? Here are some more absurd cl posts.

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So I have been collecting these for the last week or so, waiting to find time to throw them all up in a batch. And the time seems to be now. I don’t believe any of these are really NSFW, unless you’re squeamish about sex and reading about it in the workplace. (And it should be obvious from my post which ones might not be for you.) But you’ve been warned.

• an article on sugar daddies on mother jones. This is probably the most interesting article, one that almost spurred a fight between Roxy and me. We took opposite sides on the very notion that it was/wasn’t prostitution. And got heated enough that it had to be dropped. And sadly, hasn’t been revisited. Also, alternet posted reader comments about it, though I found them less interesting.
• alternet also has an article about the ‘great texas dildo war of 2008‘. The title might be more humorous than the article, which turns out to be frighteningly stupid. I restate — the article is good, the fact that people are actually trying to outlaw dildos because they want to save unborn babies. Yeah. I don’t get it either.
• And in a similar vein, the Mormons have some thoughts on how to “overcome masturbation.” I did think this was a joke, with lines like: “If you are trying to overcome masturbation, be assured that it is possible (even though, like any habit, it may take some work).” and perhaps more fun:
  

  If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind.

  There are plenty more and it’s well worth reading. Also, John, I hate to tell you but we can no longer be friends, because of all our tornado j-o-ing. I’m sorry, but we will never break the habit if we stay friends.

• A quick BBC article on gadgets, bedtimes and couples — outlining how we manage to stay up and create distance in our relationships because of stupid crap like email.
• And finally, in Montana, you can get married without actually being present. The comment I read about this said it would be perfect for Worlds of Warcreft. But why stop there — Second Life, IRC, Russian brides — the possibilities are endless. And maybe, just a little frightening.
• Okay, I lied, 4 more quickies: 1. a history of corsets, 2. a little bit on hermaphrodites, 3. a review of a book on modern American sexuality and finally, Melissa Gira’s writings on Valleywag, detailing some of the sex trade here in Silicon Valley.

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Work must be keeping me busy — I just end up stacking tabs and tabs all day long now to post in one giant string for you. I hope you don’t mind.

• The easy one first: Stuff White People Like. This was everywhere today, but it is funny, at least for a moment. (#49: Vintage.)
• This is another great craigslist post. Unlike my other favorite one, this one is safe for work, aside from the profanity. Bonus points for being posted from Richmond, Va. [via flickr]
• I don’t usually like funny animal images, but for some reason, this one tickled me. I think it might just be slightly dirty in my weird mind.
• So, somehow, I missed the whole “anonymous vs scientology” thing that has been going on the last couple of weeks. What? You did too? Read this article and this article and maybe even this blog post and you’ll learn about it. And then you’ll have some context as to why this image is funny.
• kniiiiiiife eeeeeyyyye attaaaack
• rejected star wars merchandise. sadly, this is a serious article — I wanted a list of truly fake and silly merchandise, stuff like Tauntaun Steaks. Still, the Death Star grill is a pretty awesome idea.
• How to make Nutella icecream.
• Finally, to end the day right, go to this blog post and listen to Energy Flash by Joey Beltram. This is a fantastic blog about early rave/dance music, usually covering about ‘88-’96 (I’m totally guessing years here). I used to not love this song, but somewhere in the last 5 years or so, I have come to really really dig it. And it made my day today. Let it make yours.

PS — I am still laughing at myself about ‘i can has man on ur boat.’

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I heard the dumbest thing on the radio today. A woman was worrying about what to buy her fella for Valentine’s Day. Now, let’s go beyond the obvious disappointment that the same culture that turned the Baby Jesus’ birth into an annual economic event has also hyper-commoditized the very emotion of love (“Only counts if you give her diamonds! On sale now!”). No, no. It’s simpler than that.

Now, I know men are often satirized as being simple minded or thinking only with certain portions of anatomy. But in truth, is this worse than associating the value of love with jewelry? I think not. The reality of the situation is this: a woman need not ever buy her man a gift. Ever. What we want doesn’t cost a dime.

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turns out that other people noticed the j.o tornado craigslist post…and then linked to us. ah, to be the repository of all that is right with the world…

of course, these people don’t seem to have discovered the joy of the rest of the hypotheticals, but soon. very soon.

ah, the joy in watching random traffic spikes.

added: i wondered, ‘how did they find the post after all?’ and lo and behold, we currently have the #2 spot on google for “jo tornado”. oh hell yeah.

also, i love that i made a tag called joIntoATornado.

another edit: i only now realize the main character in ‘twister’ is named jo. hm. now i do wonder if this ad is true.

one last edit: we are now number one on the goog. yes, welcome to the internet hotspot for “jo-ing into a tornado.” we are the only site you’ll ever need for discussing this fascinating topic.

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look, sincerely, i didnt want to keep this conversation going. ok, that’s a lie. talking about all this makes me laugh way too much. and if you are tuning in late, you need a primer in tornados, j.o.’s and the golden girls.

because the whole topic is…frightening, i won’t attach names to this followup, though i can claim no credit for the following. it was just too good not to share.

friend #1 finds a link to “Trannyshack presents The Golden Girls: The X-Mas Episodes”, where trannies dress up as the golden girls and re-enact episodes of the show. here in sf, of course.

friend #2 follows this link up with the following:

2 questions come to mind:

1. Is it gay to j.o. Into a tornado with a guy dressed as a Golden Girl?
2. What is more of a turn off while j.o.ing to Helen Hunt in Mad About
You, an actual Golden Girl walking in on you or a dude walking dressed
as a GG walking in on you? Bonus question: is it gay if he watches you
finish (but does not participate)?

Discuss

this is why i love my friends. and surely i can’t be the only one who finds this funny on a very high scale.

also, the fact that question #2 is both valid and well-reasoned in my mind both delights and concerns me.

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