life

Life: Five Spot

“Hey, this is one of the old fives!”

 

I was surprised he’d noticed. An aficionado of small bills? It was an old bill, back when dollars looked like dollars and not like overly-green interpretations of European bills with giant heads beaming from outside the scrollworked frames I’d come to know as a kid. I’d had this bill in my possession, more or less, for nearly twenty years, and now that small, covetous part of me felt a pang of regret letting it go. My uncle had given it to me along with the remaining amount to apply to a professional organization. I’d put it and the application aside and forgotten about it until going through some old boxes this summer.

I recognized the gloves he was wearing to shield his hands from the cold: the thin, work gloves you buy from the hardware store for $1.99. He was wearing a hoodie, hat, and though he looked younger, the hair on his chin was speckled with gray.

“Thanks. Know anybody that’s hiring?”

“No. Afraid not.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Good luck,” I said, and drove off, tucked warmly and safely in a new, plush, family sedan on my way to buy a frivolous coffee that would run nearly as much as I’d given him.

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Parenting: Early

I check on them before I go to sleep. I’ve done this nearly every night I’ve been with them. It’s the thing I do, the thing that sets my mind at ease before I allow myself those hours of respite.

In the wintertime, they’re all bundled up. Curled beneath thick blankets, it is easy to imagine them as the small little babies they once were. And perhaps always will be in my mind, my heart. Now that the heat has started to creep back into the house, they wear the short jammies their legs are steadily growing out of. They lay long and lean on their beds with sheets and covers kicked aside.

It’s a shock. They’re growing so quickly. The time is going by so quickly. I feel I’m in this halcyon moment that is rapidly ticking away. Soon they’ll be worried about looks, about trends. About fitting in. For the moment they’re their own little bulwarks of independence, of id and ego. But even this flame is starting to flicker.

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Life: Leaping

Funny thing, leap year. While it comes around every four years like elections and olympics, it gets nowhere near that level of attention. Just a day plugged in to correct our calendars, maintain our perceptions of how the universe works.

In a way, it also reminds me. It reminds me how time simply flies by, as if four years does indeed leap by in the time of one. I tuck the blankets around the sleeping kids before turning in myself and I think at how fast it is all going. Weeks tear by like minutes.  And I know I’m not the only one who’s felt that way; there’s nothing new in this realm.

But I keep hoping it’ll slow down here. Or it will be calmer there. On the weekend. During spring break. There’ll be time over the summer.

I can’t help but wonder: are we doing it all wrong? Are we doing ‘life’ wrong?

I mean, really, are we doing things better than our forebearers who churned their own butter? Sure, we’ve got all this technology and medicine and transportation, but what does it get us? Do we really get there faster, or are we just travelling farther away in the same amount of time? We’re not living in the same towns as our parents anymore. We’re not walking to school anymore. We’re not stopping long enough to breathe.

It’s unsatisfying at times, in a very peripheral way, like on the edges of consciousness, just nagging at us on the edge of thought, to be living life with so much potential and yet so much gone fallow.

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Life: The Middle

Not still young enough to be young,
not yet old enough to be old,
what a curious conflagrant conundrum.

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Life: The Mausoleum

In the garage right now sit several rows of boxes. Of various shapes, sizes and structural integrity, they are the repository of much of the mementos from my childhood. Things with which at one point in my life I could not bear to part. So teenage me boxed them up and stored them.

Now middle-aged me is going through them. One box at a time.

If my wife had her druthers they’d all be summarily dispatched to the trash can. And who’s to say that isn’t the best or at least the most efficient handling of them? I’ve been slow in going through them. Tediously slow. If I were to make the snap judgement, I’d chalk it up to avoiding an onerous task. However, it really isn’t that. Stepping through each of these many boxes is like opening up a time capsule to an era of my life. There is the box filled with pieces of my childhood: broken radio handsets, planes missing a wing. Plastic elephants the size of a thumbnail. Race cars and Transformers. The things that recall what was my childhood, the small things that brought me some happiness or escape in what was a sometimes tumultuous part of my life. And with them is the memory of my Grandfather, who died nearly 30 years ago.

The things have almost no value in any sense other than the memories that spring forth when I see them after all these years. They’re like little anchors in time for me; complete rubbish to anyone else. There has to be a least a little bit of sadness attached to that realization.

Other boxes hold letters. Letters from my Grandmom, who passed a few years ago. She wrote me and I was always so bad about writing her back, about letting her know how much she meant. And now I cannot ever tell her. Letters from my sister at a time in her life when she probably needed me more than I knew, and I was too busy to make sure she was okay. Letters from girlfriends. These number in the hundreds. Letters, not girlfriends. And though these relationships are, too, dead, I find myself loathe to throw them away. As if they identify me at that point in my life, as if they offer a view of the time and who I was (or who I was perceived to be) at that time. Of course, there’s sadness, here, too. For the inevitable demise of the relationships, months or years removed from the letters’ authoring.

Still more boxes. Boxes packed with awards from high school. Certificates. Trophies. Scholarship letters. Varsity letters. These I find heaping upon me like unspoken expectations that were never fulfilled. Was I supposed to be something else? A conquerer of business and fortune? A great scientist, engineer or astronaut? It’s hard to look at some of these things and not wonder if I’ve pissed away years. Decades?

Pictures fall out here and there. Me as a kid. Me in high school. Me with hair. Me and a girl wrapped around each other, stupid in love. In a way they’re sadly beautiful for their doomed oblivion. No thoughts of ‘what’s next?’, only thoughts of now, of being close. I’d like to say that’s foolishness, but then again, maybe it is far wiser.

And I suppose the hard part–digging through these me-mausoleums–is that I’m ever the dreamer. I cannot help but look forward to the next dream. And so, in a very real way, these boxes lurk like so many unfulfilled dreams. They drag at me, bidding me to look back and linger on things that–i know–are gone and done, dead and buried.

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Parenting: In Your Heart

In the past few days, I’ve taken to telling my daughter a long, serial story for bedtime with a “chapter” each night, as opposed to the simpler, shorter stories I had been telling her, all of which were done by the time I kissed her goodnight. This story, about a princess who meets a giant and goes on adventures, has become quite popular with my little benevolent dictator.

At present, the princess has bargained for a golden spinning wheel from the Queen of Dragons and is now engaged in a quest for a very special wool. It’s fun to spin this yarn (ha!) for my little girl. Only, she is conflicted: wanting the story to go on and on, but also wanting to know everything that’s going to happen before she falls asleep.

A conundrum, indeed.

Last night as I wrapped up the tale for the evening, she said to me with a mix of equal parts exasperation and wonder: “This story goes on for ever and ever!”

And as I took a moment to revel at a calendar full of standing appointments to have this quality time with her stretch far into time’s horizon, she innocently and unknowingly starts landing the blows…

“Well, until I get too old and don’t want stories anymore. (Ooof!) I won’t want stories when I’m seventeen. (Alas, too true.) Well, maybe until I’m eighteen or nineteen. Or even twenty. (One can hope.)

-pause-

“When you’re dead (Left hook!), it will be okay (Right cross!),” she says, innocently, then begins tapping her chest, “because you’ll be in my heart.” (Knockout!)

Then she burrowed herself tight into my chest and started crying.

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Parenting: Dragon Snuggles

“Will you snuggle with me?”

“Sweetie, I’ve gotta get downstairs and clean.”

It sounded absurd even as it fell out of my mouth. Cleaning over quality time with the youngest? So I snuggled with her by the glow of her nightlight, and told her tall tales of the Princess, George the Giant, and the trek to see the Queen of Dragons.

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