There are a few tales of Texas to be told and re-told, but first I need to clear out some of these open tabs I have floating in Firefox, waiting to be thrown over to you.

• a "twist" on mario. (and I use "twist" in that old "jo buddy" kind of way.) a preface on this link: 1. i didn't see the original post, 2. this actually ties in with an ongoing conversation i have been having with kurt: that no one would post to craigslist/casual encounters with an offer of "the door will be unlocked, come have your way with me." 3. this is another of those things that you can't undo once you have read it. you've been warned.
• michael bay's rejected script for batman.
• school locked down after a ninja sighting.
• the best looking wags (wives and girlfriends) of soccer players. yeah, this one is a little too maxim for me, but i figure you might care anyway. (also, i love #41. who is 36. but then you see her and you realize why. im so predictable.)
• grant morrison's tv scripts for the unproduced 'invisibles' bbc show.
• i know you missed it the first time, so take another look at the fail blog. it it dynamite.
• a bit on the difficulty in covering fox news [via rex]
• 10 dollars or 10% off a jet blue flight (expires 7/10/08) — not usually the kind of thing id link to, but it might be helpful to someone out there.
• finally, for hima, the train station/depot at mountain view is going to become a wine/beer bar + good food. now ill never be able to drive home after work.

…but what goes inside of it?

Really, Sandisk? Seriously?

It is said that any publicity is good publicity, but you do know there is a difference between laughing at and laughing with, right?

Petunia, meet iris.

Work must be keeping me busy — I just end up stacking tabs and tabs all day long now to post in one giant string for you. I hope you don't mind.

• The easy one first: Stuff White People Like. This was everywhere today, but it is funny, at least for a moment. (#49: Vintage.)
• This is another great craigslist post. Unlike my other favorite one, this one is safe for work, aside from the profanity. Bonus points for being posted from Richmond, Va. [via flickr]
• I don't usually like funny animal images, but for some reason, this one tickled me. I think it might just be slightly dirty in my weird mind.
• So, somehow, I missed the whole "anonymous vs scientology" thing that has been going on the last couple of weeks. What? You did too? Read this article and this article and maybe even this blog post and you'll learn about it. And then you'll have some context as to why this image is funny.
• kniiiiiiife eeeeeyyyye attaaaack
• rejected star wars merchandise. sadly, this is a serious article — I wanted a list of truly fake and silly merchandise, stuff like Tauntaun Steaks. Still, the Death Star grill is a pretty awesome idea.
• How to make Nutella icecream.
• Finally, to end the day right, go to this blog post and listen to Energy Flash by Joey Beltram. This is a fantastic blog about early rave/dance music, usually covering about '88-'96 (I'm totally guessing years here). I used to not love this song, but somewhere in the last 5 years or so, I have come to really really dig it. And it made my day today. Let it make yours.

PS — I am still laughing at myself about 'i can has man on ur boat.'

Tripp, when did you start posting so many links?

I don't know. Probably in the last couple of weeks when I realized:
1. end of the week sucks. And you could use some pick me ups.
2. that not everyone reads the web as obsessively as I do.

Let's go:

a u.s scientist has cloned himself from skin cells. Only a matter of time. Still a bit freaky. But hey, maybe they can grow me a new colon. Who am I to argue with progress?

The coolest piece of junk I've seen this week (I forget last week's winner, 2 week's ago, it was this japanese masturbation aid): a tentacle arm. Ah yeah.

Some more words about ffffound, which I am still addicted to. Having it's front page feed in my reader is a source of constant happiness. Don't believe me? How about this, this, this, this or this or this?

No? How about some fun and silly nerd flickr pictures then?

And finally, a couple of articles on io9 — future newspapers in movies and such and info on a new mini-series on the history channel called "life without humans," which really just sounds like 'the world without us' which i still really really really want to read.

I forgot to post this last week when I got new glasses. I guess it isn't that notable, but it's an easy post to throw up this morning. Yeah, I'm lazy.

My other glasses are so old, I can't remember when I got them. It must have been college. I know these are the first ones I have bought for myself, so they are at least that old. That's sad. And long overdue. Now you may begin the mocking. And I will go back to working on a longer post that I have put off for 6 months now.

i spoke to my parents several times this weekend. a usual event, but this time around, they (mainly my father) kept asking 'what was going on?'

this is the type of question i hate, though i use it a lot. how many times have i asked you 'what else?' when playing catch-up? too many. it isn't a secret, just hypocritical.

and the truth?

nothing is going on. the funk i was feeling seems to have washed over and away somehow. i don't feel frustration at the moment wondering what my life is supposed to be, what i am supposed to do to make a difference, overwhelmed by the realization that i am one of millions and millions of humans alive right at this moment. and that, for the history of mankind, the odds are against me in terms of doing anything to impact mankinds path.

whew. no wonder i was having trouble with life.

so what am i doing? what am i up to?

i don't know, honestly. i have been doing a lot of hanging out, meeting people, seeing people, talking, drinking. just letting go.

but that's boring. it doesn't make good stories. or blog posts.

i can't make up for it at the moment, but i can give you two pictures to at least give your eyes something to see:

1. me as the caterpillar in my 5th grade 'alice in wonderland' play. i was already an alice junkie beforehand — i remember walking in and saying i wanted to play the caterpillar or bill the lizard. of course, this was the disney version and there was no bill the lizard. i got the part of the caterpillar and, thanks to the costume my mom made, i rocked the house. i was seriously uncool at this point in my life, but this was a little rainbow that shined through.

2. a portrait taken on the train last week. i have a script on my computer to take a picture with the isight every 30 minutes, dumped into a folder. i haven't done anything with them yet, save posting this one. most are bad and unflattering. this one wasn't, so i figured i'd throw up a recent picture of myself.